Seeing Red
by ClassicalyWrote
Summary: Kassia Hume was far from living the perfetc life often feeling alone, hurting herself. Then her life takes a drastic change, and she becomes a toy, his toy, Billy Darley's toy! This will not be like a typical Billy love fic I am taking this to dark places
1. Chapter 1

I never thought it would be this way at all. In this past week and a half, my life had turned around drastically, yet here and now, here I stand, my arms being crushed behind my back. The freshly made cuts on them burning, as this black man held onto me, he smelled like whiskey, leather, and smoke, his hands rough like the other man's who dragged me from by bed, away from the razor I left laying on my pillow. I watched in horror as the red leathered arm of my flame, the familiar figure that had grazed my vision these past few days, shot straight out, his fingers curled around the black gun. He spoke up, his deep voice making shivers go down my bare body as I was only in my black laced panty and bra set. "She's beautiful Hume. Black hair, that I'm gonna be pullin, large breast that will fill the hands I kill your bitch with. Smooth skin to touch and rub along, beautiful smooth legs that will be wrapped around me, while I fill her. "

My whole body shook, he can't do that to me, he will not be the man, better yet the monster that touches me first. I shook my head tears filling my eyes, my lip started quivering, my whole body violently began to shake. I "Remember that now, get that through ya fuckin skull!" I cried out for my fourteen-year-old baby brother lying on the floor in front of me, and my Mom across from him. Her eyes going back and forth between him and me.

Her eyes were welded with tears, her face covered with fright, her eyes locked with mine. I saw his bearded and scared face scrunch up and twist, before he raised his gun in a defying demeanor to my brother who shouted out. I looked to my left; everything seemed to happen in slow motion. My dad his eyes locked only on my mother's, her frantic calls of "no!" And her frantic shouting. Luke was shouting "No!" I heard him yell to me, as did my mother. "Kassia." My eyes welded with tears I tried to move being knocked in my stomach, as I could no longer move or breathe.

I heard a click, and he pointed the gun straight at Luke's head. "No, Luke!" I shouted, with my mom's calls. "No!" I screamed out, my sharp shrill sounds piercing the night air, as the sound of the bullets collided with my scream. I felt like I was out of my body, watching this from some horror movie, through a window, a window of some else's life. Though this was my life, this was happening to me. I stared in horror heart pumping, stomach turning, hands clenched, hot tears spilling down my warm cheeks, I knew it was about to begin!


	2. Chapter 1: Windsong

**Rusty moon sky**

**Nothing but a cry**

**Mixed as far as you know**

**Confusing even in death**

**Tell me is that so**

_**I could smell one thing and one thing only! I listened to it splatter in the sink. The sound of the phones ringing off the hook kept them busy. Or it could've been the sound of Beethoven's Fur Elise coming from my stereo speakers. People had been calling non-stop. Phones cell phones, hell even the fax machine got its fair share of beeps. I brought my wrist up. The smell of salt and rust filled my nose. I inhaled deep. The large gash I had started was seeping with warm sticky red liquid, rolling down my forearm. **_

_**It stretched from the crease of my elbow, maybe four inches down. I did know it was deep, deeper than last time. I shook my head as the piano ended it's final key. The moment the stereo clicked I heard the phone ring. I shut my eyes. It wasn't enough yet. I brought the long silver pin like needle file to the crease of my elbow once more. I stuck the tip into my elbow and pressed down. I dragged the file down my arm. I gritted my teeth. I didn't cry out. No not ever, not even the first time I done this.**_

_**It began almost three years ago off and on. I'd do it whenever I felt the pressure in the back of my head, or the red fury fill my eyes. Or the violent shaking. I remember why I started; I remember a time when things were good. A time back when. At five Dad was video taping my first ballet recital. At six my first piano recital. Mom proud at six as well, handing me my little green ribbon for perfect attendance.**_

_**Eight I was playing hockey and doing sports with Brendan whom was seven. We broke a few windows, made a few dents in Dad's BMW. Surprisingly he never cared, laughed it off. He used to call me his little Puzzle Maker. I'd create scenarios in my head other's couldn't even dream. Put together broken pieces. I was a happy child, normal, and tantrums here and there. I was mostly quiet and shy; I liked to sing to Lucas when he was first born. As grade school ended and me twelve things were getting tough. When I hit fourteen and Brendan hit thirteen and middle school things got even worse. He was already getting offered to play on several of the school's hockey team leagues.**_

_**Dad started getting more time for Brendan, meaning less for Luke and me. He didn't even have time to listen to me play my ivory set. High school came up fast and I became a little more depressed. I met two people in detention. The first young girl I met was beyond gorgeous. Tan, dark hair, soft face. She wasn't a Boston native. No, her parents the Cypresses transferred from Belgium in Europe. Here to Boston when she was five.**_

_**We later found out our dad's worked on the same floor at Starfish Capital. Her name was Kelly, she had a younger sister, and a brother Michaels, yeah you guessed it. He played on the hockey team with Brendan. The two were best buddies. She became used to being a shadow in her family. We understood each other because of it. Kels had this innocent era to her, like me shy at first, but after a few hours and a couple of dry jokes later I saw a very bright person who enjoyed numerous things.**_

_**Our Dad's were happy of course, taking on the happy family friend's way of life. Kels and I rebelled at times. When we were together high school, plastic bitch barbies beware! We were a force of nature, not caring who thought what! The best memory was when Kelly and I got into it with Heather and Melissa. Two best friends who ran the 'it' group at school. There Daddies were V.P.'s of Starfish before our's replaced them! We got two weeks suspension and a ride to the police station. Ice packs on our hand's, cocky smiles plastered on our faces as the cops escorted us into the cop car.**_

_**About two weeks after that in one of our many detentions we met Rowan. Never had a last name he called himself Darley usually. Never knew why? Especially since he told me and Kelly different. Rowan only told us he had a brother and we never pressured him on his family life. We tried to give him as much of our affections as possible. The three of us formed a bond so strong. No matter what happened, fights, we never faltered. Without them I'd have already dumped a full bottle of vicodin down my throat! **_

_**When I turned fifteen and hit tenth grade and Brendan hit high school with Michaels, that's when my Dad declared him the family's golden boy. Everything became about hockey! Or Brendan's games. He'd gotten a big head and ego as it progressed. Extra work at home was dumped at me. I was ignored, yelled at, pressured everywhere. The only pain I could control I found out was the pain I inflicted on myself. I started in the fall when I was fifteen.**_

_**And when things kept getting harder so did my object or needle of choice! Kels knew somehow. I couldn't hide anything from her, that twin-like sense we had strong. Not a long sleeved shirt, a bandage could cover it. She pleaded with me to stop. I did for a while off and on. Until it stopped all together when I turned sixteen! I was a mess Brendan seemed everywhere. I couldn't be Kassia anymore. He'd changed me Kassia Hume had changed!**_

**_I couldn't hide the bruises from Brendan pushing me into walls, or slapping me. I couldn't get mom to believe it and sure as hell not dad! Rowan had broke Brendan's nose when he'd heard. Resulted in his 48 hours jail time. He was banned from the house. Kelly's parent's inflicted the same rules to her. Michaels and Brendan were the two families golden boys. In reality they were the golden backstabbers! This past year after I turned seventeen went quickly me being almost eighteen now. Brendan had hit me his last time and said the wrong thing before I snapped that night. I said the one word that would haunt me for the rest of my life. '__Drop dead' __it slipped from my lips two nights ago._**

_**I didn't know at three the next morning my entire life would change when the phone rang. We got a call to the hospital just as we came in to see dad covered in blood the doctor came out to tell us Brendan didn't survive surgery. We found out he was murdered as dad said throat slashed. I couldn't comprehend. I didn't know how to react part of me missed him, the other half didn't. He was in reality, my reality Satin. Dad was acting weird over the murder, and oddly enough Rowan reacted and strayed from me. Guess he didn't know what to say on the whole family ordeal.**_

_**I closed my e-mail down from all the messages I received asking details on Brendan. After the funeral today dad had a court date tomorrow. My curiosity and wanting to see the alleged murder that removed the black raged golden fury from my life. Luke was confused like me. He'd won his soccer game that day! He was my baby brother, my rock, and I'd die for him. Death it seemed so literal now though...**_

_**My fingers touched the palm of my hand and I gasped. I made the gash extend. As I watched the blood seep out in a weird fascination. There was a knock at my door. "Hello?" A soft accented voice called out. **_

**"_Shit!" I hissed quietly, thanking god my bathroom door was closed._**

**"_Kassia, Kass? Kassia it's me Kels you all right?"_**

_**I grabbed a piece of toilet paper frantically soaking it to my arm trying to dry the blood up. I threw the bloody file into the draw. I heard the clicking of her heels. "Girl you ok?"**_

**"_J-just a minute." I said in a high pitched voice._**

_**I yanked by white button down sleeved top down just as the bathroom door opened. I whipped around knocking some shit off the counter. "Shit!" I cursed a loud.**_

_**Kelly bent down at the same time. "Here let me get it." She spoke softly as my hands shook trying to pick stuff up.**_

_**I could feel the blood seeping through the white fabric, my hand moved back. Kelly set the remainder of what I had knocked over carefully back onto the counter. She put her hands on my shoulders. I was shaking hard, my arm burning. I jerked away a moment. "Woa woa Kass girl you all right?" My eyes welled up with tears. Every time she asked me something face to face like that. I couldn't hide it. Kels was like the sister I never had she was my best friend!**_

_**For an odd reason I could look a stranger or my mom in the eye when they asked me if I was ok and lie through my teeth without shedding a tear. With Rowan Kels they could see right through it! They made it easier for me to come to them with open arms and just breakdown, rant whatever I need to do when I needed to do it and me with them. I looked at her and burst into tears.**_

**"_Shhh oh babe come here." She cooed rubbing my back as I cried into her._**

_**After a few moments when I finally stopped and pulled back she placed a kiss on my forehead and wiped my tears away with her thumbs. "Hey chin up Cinnamon." She said through her own tears.**_

_**My Hebrew name Kassia meaning Cinnamon giving me the nickname of Cinnamon was the one thing I completely loved about myself. Kelly was dressed in a leather skirt, a long sleeved midnight purple top, black stilettos, her leather jacket. Topping her tan skin of with a smoky do and her dark brown hair was slightly wavy today. "You look good." I said trying to smile.**_

_**She took my hands in hers. "Look at you. Wake up the dead knockout." She joked.**_

_**We both began giggling through tears. "Ready to do this?" She asked.**_

_**I looked at myself in the mirror. My smoky do, my hair curled and slightly pinned back. My white button up shirt, with a black vest, my black stockings underneath my shirt knitted skirt, with knee high thin-heeled boots.**_

_**I took a deep breath and retched to pull the door open when Kelly's hand retched out and grabbed mine. "Ouch!" I yelped. Her eyes widened right away before more tears filled them. "Fuck Kassia no! Not again, not over this please say you didn't." **_

**"_Must be a big stain." I laughed sarcastically._**

_**She jerked back like I'd just slapped her in the face. "Bull shit!" She suddenly yelled. "Kassia you can't do this again. He's gone now, and it's not your fault, anything you said that night nothing!"**_

_**We were both silent for a moment before I turned around and stormed into my room. I scooped up my knit coat and threw it on. She came out right behind me.**_

**"_What's going on please tell me why you're doing this again, please." She begged._**

**"_Nothing." I lied. "So I need some fucking control so what? What the fuck do you care for?"_**

**"_Oh that's right Kassia I don't care your best friend your fucking sister doesn't care. I bet Rowan would like to know." She said reaching into her pocket pulling out the cherry mobile._**

**"_No Kels! I'll try to stop I promise. I just don't know." I mumbled my lip quivering._**

_**She signed coming over to me. "It'll be all right. I promise." She spoke softly hugging me.**_

**"_Don't promise Kels. Please." I whimpered._**

_**A knock erupted at my door. It was my mom. She opened the door and we unlocked from the hug. "Hey girls the car is here." She spoke in a daze.**_

_**And without another word she turned to leave. I swallowed hard as Kelly and I made our way to the car outside. The ride there was so quiet almost unbearable. The dark clouds overhead signs making known a storm was coming.**_

_**I got out of the car needing time to myself and not wanting to see the casket. I made my way past some marble stones. My heels kept sinking lower into the mud I walked in. My hair being whipped about by the wind. I could smell the rain coming the thunder roaring in the distance. My hands clutching onto nothing in my pocket. Wishing never made it better hoping only caught my breath. The silver sharp object I was searching for was not there. My fingernails had begun to subside my urge and pain for now.**_

_**By the time I had taken the shortcut I saw them casket already set up while everyone was huddle under umbrellas as the rain began to fall hard. I walked over to Luke. "Hey Lukers." I spoke softly ruffling his hair. He grabbed my right hand with his left and squeezed. Kelly also grabbed my hand squeezing. Tears started filling my eyes, and the service became a blur. I was having a stare down with casket and watching each rain drop fall of it after hitting it and making noise that sounded like a wild freight train. It made me sick knowing it held the body of my brother. The lifeless, cold, dead, teenager.**_

_**It was starting to hit me hard that he was dead. Brendan's dead. My brother is gone! My eyes closed pressure was building in my head. I started to shake my eyes closed like the memory, strong like a vision appeared in my head. That night, came flooding, hurling back to me.**_

_**...**_

_"Kiss ass." Brendan taunted mocking Luke. _

_Luke scurried up the stairs, Our parents had went out after the o-so-lovely dinner and leaving me with the chores. "You're such a prick, Brendan." I mumbled heading into the kitchen to start the dishes. Long behold Brendan Hume did anything. Wouldn't want to ruin his good hockey hands. _

_He followed me. "What's that from my sister?" He said holding his hand up to his ear, cocky smirk across his face._

_"Prick." I said slowly throwing some forks, and a plate roughly into the soapy water. _

_When I threw the plate, the water splashed Brendan and me. _

_I took one look at the suds on him and I started laughing._

_"Wet prick." I laughed._

_He suddenly grabbed my arm and jerked hard which caused my fingers, which had a hold of a utensil to scrape sharply across it. "Ouch." I yelped bringing the finger out and sucking on it to ease the pain for a moment._

_"Oh please bitch. You don't like that at all? We spend enough money on those arms of yours for some reason. I did you a favor, not as big as your used to carving, but..." _

_I cut him off with a sharp wet slap to his cheek. Rage was beginning to spill over. The impact threw him into the kitchen floor, and he hit the chairs._

_"What's wrong dad and mom not here to help golden boy?" I spat anger in my voice rising. _

_He jumped up before I had the chance to move and smacked me hard across the face making me stumble back. I retreated back and shoved him across the floor and started for the hallway. He grabbed the back of my hoodie with force and jerked me around throwing me into the hallway wall._

_"Listen here you slut, you better watch the way you speak to me. And this he said holding out the collar of his wet t-shirt, this is not expectable now is it? If you don't watch your damn step I'll be telling all your little friend what your spare hobbies are." He said smirking._

_"I'll smack that fucking smirk right off your face!" I growled lowly._

_"Go ahead try, see if your black ass hoodlum boy can do it for you. Maybe he'll fuck you and Kelly ay the same time. Don't know if my sister would do such kinky shit hmm... Maybe you're a junkie." He roared laughing._

_My anger boiled up and hot tears spilled out of my eyes. "Brendan drop dead, I hope you drop dead!" I spat lowly._

**I never knew that night would be the night he would drop dead. My eyes snapped back open. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." The priest spoke.**

**My stomach was turning the rain making me shiver. Luke's head leaned into my mother's and mine and I leaned my head down into Kelly's. As they started lowering casket into the ground my eyes started rolling back in my head. My arms were burning, the pressure was pounding. I didn't even notice the priest had lowered the casket all the way down and people were leaving until there was a soft tap on my shoulder.**

**"Hey you ok? " Luke asked me.**

**Kels gave me a questioning look. I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Only a "Hmm ah mm." I managed to squeak out. **

**My mom walked in front of me stuffing a tissue in her purse. "Kass you all right baby? Kassia?" **

**I was disoriented. "Honey Nick come here." Mom called out.**

**I heard his footsteps. My mom placed her cold hand to my forehead. "Jesus Nick she's burning up."**

**"Kassia? Let's get you to the car." My dad said grabbing an arm and walking me to the car, nodding at people by us. I was feeling weaker every second, energy draining. My hands started shaking and the next step I took I saw the place spin around me and the earth leave so quickly beneath my feet. My eyes darkened and I hit the ground. It was cold, hard, and the rain beat down onto my face.**

**"Kassia? You feeling sick you ok? " My dad questioned.**

**What the fuck do you care I thought. My mom and Kelly were yelping frantically. They were all huddled above me. "She fainted Nick. Bring the car around. Now!"**

**I let the rain drops hit my lids and I started closing them. The felt heavy. Kels was holding onto my hand, and Luke brushing some hair out of my face. I let my eyes flutter shut. "Kassia please be ok." Luke said a slight whimper to his tone.**

**(Rowan's P.O.V.)**

**It was hard to see through the rain. Both girls looked stunning. I could see her black coat and the umbrellas huddled together. Piece of shit got what he deserved I thought. I wouldn't say that to her, but he did. I watched and watched until it looked like she fell down. I jumped up fast like clockwork ready to see if she was all right. A hand was placed firmly on my chest holding me back. **

**"Row chill brother. You can't be makin your ass known dawg." Bodie said.**

**I sighed deeply and stepped back into place watching frantically as they were huddled around her. **

**"Where the fuck are we? You want to tell me why you dragged me all the way here to watch some fuckers in black ties lower a rich fuck into the ground?"**

**"Shut the fuck up man! He was her brother." I retorted.**

**He started laughing. "Okay Dawg."**

**He was still laughing until I pulled the paper from my leather jacket and slapped it to his chest. His eyes started at it with confusion. He smirked.**

**"How much you think they'd sale me a stock for? Think they'd trade? A stock for a roll?" He laughed.**

**"Read you fucking ass whole!" I demanded growling. **

**He sighed, his fingers snapped as he leaned against the red tribal marked mustang, and his eyes followed the front page of the paper. "Starfish Capital. Yeah so..." He said not quite getting it yet.**

**"Look at the fucking kid on the left!" I yelled.**

**His eyes looked and then they widened. "Rowan man.." He trailed off giving me a look. **

**"Your girl ain't related to this fuck Joey sliced is she?"**

**I looked at him nodding. "God dammit!" He yelled slinging the paper to the ground.**

**"You better fucking hope Billy don't find out about your girl."**

**"I don't know if I can keep it in my fucking hands she may need me Bodie" I said with worry in my tone. "Crying over that piece of shit."**

**"If Billy gets site of her he's going to have more on his fucking mind!" Bodie yelled once more. **

**"Yeah no shit." I retorted.**

**"Brother you your fucking trap shut and stay the hell away from her! Billy can't ever know this shit." He said with his hands on the side of my face.**

Hey ya'll took me forever please review! ;) btw the lyrics at the beginning are my own from a song I am writing, especially for this story.

**.**


	3. Chapter 2:

I own nothing as always. Only Kassia. Hope u enjoy this chapter. ;) The trial is in the next one.

** Chapter 2: Thoughts**

"_**Kassia, Kassia." And just like that, I let her voice fade away, with only one gruesome thought. He was here now and I could see him. A million thoughts coursed, rummaged throughout my brain. Could I have saved him that night? Would it have been better if it had just been me? I wasn't so sure of anything anymore. It's true to the core though. You never think something can ever happen to you until it does. Then once it happens, nothing seems real. Everyone accepts that with that statement the person or persons are in a deeply excessive state of mind.**_

_**But me, well I guess you say that's true. I'm haunted with the memory of Brendan's death. I hated him so much even though he was my brother and sometimes when I wasn't looking, I could picture him as the brother that Luke and I so desperately needed him to be. Sure, we wanted it, but did we need it, hell yes we did! In a foggy state, I could see Brendan Hume. Letting light on someone else. Some knew he was a cock ass, but behind closed doors, they didn't know how bad it could be, or wanting any escape. I feel like I should have saved him, but I feel like whoever would have done it, I'd just like to hug. And it scares me at what Brendan has made me think.**_

_**I was raised to care about others, but him. It killed me to say that I loved him, I loved my stupid ass of a brother with all my heart and it hurts me. I'm angry as to why he was gone. Angry he got off so easily. Angry that he's left and even bigger light on himself by dying. I can't understand any of it. It's too much for my head to comprehend. Mixed emotions and Lucas feels them to. As bad, as I want to I know I can't protect him anymore. But if someone ever hurt my brother, or murdered him, then Luke's killer would have wished he had shot himself to hell when he had the chance. I just hope no matter what happens Luke stays safe…**_

_**I feel a little cold now, the lights are bright here. Some dim, some blinding masses. I feel as tired as one person should feel within the lifetime. I just want someone to really hold me right now before I loose it. I thought about what happened if it were me to die and I feel lucky. Leaving Luke would be something unforgivable. Sure mom loves us both, but now I'm sure she only sees us half way. I wouldn't want Luke to leave me, even thought we understand what it feels like, it doesn't make anything feel better at all. I live for him and for some future when I can finally breathe. Almost four more months left…**_

_**Lost of sounds are coming from here. Kellian has told me that one time I would cut it would go to deep and then what? In truth, I didn't know. Everyone pictures there own death and denial makes it all that much more real. **_

_************************************_

"**Just tell me is she going to be all right?" Mom screamed. **

_**I went to rest my hand on her shoulder, but she just walked off, what more could she have done other than shoving me or shrugging it off. Kassia is finally getting well-deserved attention. I hope she's ok; my face hasn't been straight since we got here. Two nights in the hospital in two days. Nice fucking record. I listen to the doctor speak and watch as my Dad looks off into the distance. Caring doesn't seem like a good enough act for him to even try and put on anymore. I can't stop thinking about Brendan now. Even in death, he's a stupid ass star! I just wish more than anything that this would all stop. My parents have hollow stones forming in the pits of their eyes and my Dad he just looks dead. I'm starting to think of why earth is so round when nothing is, but straight in it.**_

"_**Sir." The doctor speaks, walking out and shaking my mom's hand. The same one in blue scrubs from two nights ago. The one that spoke "We did all we could, I'm sorry but your son didn't survive. I'm sorry we lost him." And I wonder if doctors practice that we lost him or her everyday in the mirror. Sometimes I think even Brendan practiced a speech if Kass or me would die. Maybe he was just hoping. I can't really think of my exact feeling right now. I just want my sister here. Kellian seemed to have run off, some friend she is huh? When the going gets rough, she gets going. But she isn't coming back. I think even Kassia knew that before Brendan even died. Leave your best friend for a permanent New Zealand spot.**_

_**New life, stupid ass-holes! Kass only has Rowan now. So much for him, mom and dad deem him unfit. Finally, mom nods. "She's going to be just fine. I had to sedate her, give her something to relax, we did a MRI scan incase the fainting was a result of some scarred tissue or any other case. Just to be on the safe side. She had some lacerations on her right and left arm both, the nurse bandaged those up, I have asked her to include a pamphlet for you all on-" he hesitated. I knew it. Kassia has started hurting herself again. **_

"_**S-self inflicted pain and wounds." he finished. Mom's head snapped up immediately and my dad thanked him silently. "She's completely out of it now, but you can take her home and put her to bed. After a day like today I'd say she needs some rest and no school for the rest of the week that would be my recommendation."**_

"_**Ok." Mom nodded a slight sniffle to her tone. **_

_**She looked to my Dad as he shook his head. "Cutting my daughter is a cutter? Is this family basking in the glow of negative attention." he slammed his hand onto the wall beside him, causing my mom to lash out, which surprised me.**_

"_**Nick if she's in trouble we need to help her."**_

"_**The only damn trouble that girl is in is wanting attention. We lost one kid Helen you want to loose another this time?"**_

_**She shook her head, backing away and he sighed out. "Honey I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way. It's just been a hard day, let's just get our daughter and go home. We'll sort this out tomorrow, I promise." She nodded and curled up to his shoulder. Dad motioned me with one hand and I sighed walking forward. "I'm going to go get Kass uh Luke just go with you're mom to the car and- and wait there." he demanded, pulling on his tie once, then running his free had through his hair. **_

"_**You sure you don't need any help?" Mom asked.**_

_**He bit his lip and shook his head. "We've all dealt with hospitals enough the quicker we leave the better."**_

_**Mom nodded. "Ok be quick and make sure you cover her it's still raining."**_

_**Dad nodded and she just turned. The sound of her heels clicking made known she already walked away. And there I stood as Dad did the same, walking through the double doors, fist clenched at his sides. I looked around being alone in the dimly lit hallway of the third emergency ER wing, with nothing but intercom calls and stiff smells of desensitizing cleaners. A man dressed in a blue jean suit walked down the hallway, throwing his mop onto the floor. His head was bowed but he wore a golden band on his left hand ring finger. **__Maybe he's as lonely and lost as I am…__** I heard the scuffling of sneakers.**_

_**I turned my head to the side lightly to the left. I saw nothing so I nodded off. Must be the damn stress eating away at me. I leaned head back in a sigh and propped it up against the bulletin board hanging along the green dingy brick wall smashed into the white slab of a paint job. Painting… if only I could paint a picture to just jump into. It sounds childish, bur if everyone in the world denied ever wanting to jump into a painting or the TV, a music video or anything they wanted to a part of then the whole world would be blinded by lies. But that is how it is anyway. Lies are focused as truth if spoken from the right person and the others well they are deemed to eternal lying sin or however the hell, I've heard it. **_

_Nothing in this world will ever be right. If we could all just stop the thoughts from spinning wildly maybe, we would have some peace. _**I felt a tiny little irritating pain within my left arm. "Ouch." I turned my head to the right and snapped it back. Some guy dressed in dark blue jeans covered from the torn bottoms with mud and water, dark sneakers and a black hoodie with the strings of it tied into his hard face came towards me. My eyes darted back and forth until the person stood up straight and looked at me. I sighed and shook my head. "Rowan?" **

_**He motioned his hands in mid-air for me to keep it quiet. He hissed. "Shh man you gotta be quiet. I don't have much time before pops reprises his role as saint of all things golden." And with that said he pulled the slightly damp hood from his head and looked towards me and came close. He nodded his head to the right and we moved to the side corner of the tiny hallway. He looked to the double doors before licking his bottom lip once and he began speaking. "She all right? What the fuck is going on?"**_

"_**She just fainted the doctor said she was fine except for…" I trailed off. I didn't like broadcasting Kass's problem, she's had enough to deal with and I'm not the damn brother that's going to be adding to that list. If Rowan finds out what she's doing again well then who knows what will happen. He looked to me and I didn't have to say much to what my parents call an " inconsiderate dumb ass of a punk who thinks he can run whatever he damn well sees fit to ruin and take", but for all that I think he's pretty damn smart!**_

"_**Except for what man? Luke you gotta tell me this shit buddy ok. If anyone is hurting, her please fuckin', tell me, please man! A brother can only do what he can from where he stands." he spoke, looking away and sucking in a deep gust of air. Did he mean my parents making him stay away from Kass or did my senses tell me otherwise? "Lacerations Rowan." I simply spoke, hoping he'd get the unsaid message. He raised his eyebrows at me before he cracked his knuckles against his sides. "Cuts man is that what you mean?"**_

"_**Yeah." I nodded, brushing a hand over the back of my neck. "Cuts."**_

"_**Mother fucker! I knew it look what went and gone on right behind my fucking nose and she never said a word! Where's Kellian?" he roared, making me step back from the new tight nausea forming in the pit of my stomach. **_

"_**Left for New Zealand with her family." I shrugged.**_

"_**You mean she left today this very fucking day?" he questioned, pointing his finger to the ground in a violent manner. **_

"_**This very fucking day. Some friend." I noticed him look away and walk over looking once through the double doors before running a hand over his slightly shaven head. **_

"_**Damn! So she's got no one then?"**_

"_**She has me." I belted up, my voice a little louder then I'd anticipated. **_

_**He looked to me before sighing. "I know Luke I'm sorry kid, but you gotta look out for her in the meantime all right?"**_

"_**Rowan what the hell is going on? Plan on bailing as well?"**_

"_**I got my own problems." he simply stated, looking away and scooting back as a nurse pushed her way through in front of us. "I've heard that before." I spat, rolling my eyes. "You go do whatever the fuck you think it is you have to do Rowan, but make sure my sister gets at least a good-bye. And I'm sure you can come up with something heartfelt, you get paid enough for that right." I hissed out lowly, surprised at how I let myself go. His eyes inflamed and he looked to me. But they softened quickly and he patted my shoulder. "I'm not goin' anywhere Luke I just have matters that I need to trim down. **_

_**Just take care of ma girl please and take care of yourself." And with that final sentence, he flipped the hood up and turned around. "Hey." I whispered loudly, in a harsh tone. He turned and looked to me expectant. "What matters?" I asked.**_

_**With a short and simple statement, he replied. "I've got some family matters to trim down."**_

_**I waited a few minutes pondering what Rowan meant. When he barely even spoke of his family, maybe he had a brother once. I guess that's why we all get along so well. Both must have dickey brothers or in my case had a dickey brother. Dad had brought Kassia out just five minutes after and she was covered in his coat. he didn't even say anything, but give me a slight nod as we made our way to the car. The ride home was silent. Mom had her head leaned against the seat, eyes closed like she was almost in a land filled with wishes and dad stayed like the same moronic ass, stone cold now. His hands tightened on the wheel every so often with a slight sigh. That made my mom's hand brush against his every time he would do it.**_

_**His eyes stayed blankly on the road. While I kept my head on the cool vibrating glass of the window and I held Kass's head in my lap. She must have had a hefty sedation; she wasn't even flinching in her sleep. Lucky it was so deep. I hope she was escaping things, but I definitely needed her back to talk to.**_

_**Not a half an hour later we pulled in, Dad pulled Kass out, and everyone made their way to the house. This was it. Awkward times and now that Brendan is finally buried and gone no one knows what to do, but try and let reality sink in or deny it, which was a mixed formality. **_

_**Dad had taken Kass up and put her in her bed, Mom hadn't even bothered to take her shoes or any clothes from the funeral off. So dressed in my dark green pajamas I crept into her room, took of the black heels, and covered her with her red fleece blanket. She moaned once and turned over. I stopped and walked back over before lifting her arm up and pulling her swayed black jacket off and scarf. I tossed over a chair and kissed her forehead. Now what?**_

_**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-***_

_I was again cold somewhere inside myself, but I saw him I saw Brendan standing beside my bed and he had a long knife in his hand. "You wanna feel what it's like to get cut with this?" And like that, all the blood flowed. It wasn't stopping. Even when I tried getting up and my feet touched the floor stepping in a mass of thick ruby blood. I fell and it was like black was swirling on no edge at all. Then I was up in a white light. "Kass one more time flirting with Davis and I'll punch his fucking balls out!" Brendan yelled. I laughed out. "Nice one hoe-bro like you could stop anything." _

"_Luke and I could sure." he smiled, putting one arm around Luke. The smile I had wasn't real because this wasn't a real memory it never happened. I was seeing things through a window again, a dark window with no ending to it, no light and never any rain. But the blood seeped right by my feet and I looked and there it was down the hospital floor all over the casket. No, no! "No stop it stop it no! Brendan!" I screamed, but sound was like a hit wave and striked me with a violent heat wave and I was back someone has grabbed me up._

"_**No. No." I cried out. "Help him someone please make this all stop."**_

"_**Shh honey its ok, stop please it's all right."**_

_It was Mom's voice, she had actually come and was cradling me as dad stood frozen to the doorway and Luke beside him. He just walked off and Luke bowed his head sadly._** She hugged me with force. "Why is all this real?" I cried out. **

_**She didn't respond, but Luke left the room. Once my crying had died down, she left. I didn't feel like changing so I just took off everything, but my panties and bra as the door was closed. I laid there in my bed and listened to them talk.**_

"_**You go put that animal in jail." Mom spoke.**_

_**I heard footsteps following and I knew it was Luke who was crying, but when I leaned up I couldn't go to him now and I knew it. I couldn't let my little brother see I was falling apart inside. So I reached over and grabbed the tiny silver pen out of the nightstand and as the rain beat down and I heard Luke's cries start, I dug that pin deep into my skin. The trial is tomorrow and I plan on going there. With that final thought, I tossed the pen into the draw without wiping it off and curled up to nothing, but the fleece. If only I'd have known that, I only had two more nights with this fleece. **_

**_Rate and review. :) if u want._**


	4. Chapter 3:

The silence was dead eerie at night. Like something that came from a defined horror movie. The clock made a beeping noise every time the hour had changed into a new one. I lost track somewhere after the third beep. Time was starting to be mixed up with sound in this room, in this world. My head felt dizzy, to dizzy. I remembered the times I'd go whether it was storming out or I'd had a bad dream, I would gather myself enough courage to run from my room straight to my parent's room.

One thing for sure was that the trial started in five hours exactly. The light was nearing in the sky, but it was still so dark and the rain hadn't let up. The branches hit against the glass of my window pain and yeah sure, it scared me, but was I going to run to anyone? Even if I had the option, even when things were what mom and dad considered normal around here, I didn't! I lifted myself up off my pillows, my arms felt like a jello substance. I didn't feel awake in all honesty. I could feel the sharp bags under my red eyes and they were raw from tears.

I didn't know if my body could produce or suck enough energy into my face for any kind of emotion or a movement even. All I felt like doing was playing with a hot iron of blade of some sort. Deciding against it, I moved from the bed and sucked in sharp breaths of air as my feet were uncomfortable, heels having left their mark. My arms were in a lot of pain, more so hardcore this time. The blood was smeared on my light pillows case and I threw my fleece aside so it would be spared. How I managed the twenty minutes of sleep on my own without the drugs the doctor gave me was beyond me.

Mom was confusing so much that it hurt me to think about it. I shivered as my newly night attire I'd got accustomed to wearing chilled my skin to the point of overrated Goosebumps. I'd tried calling Rowan once, but the call on his phone sheet I found in Mom's study downstairs was a dead end. It was odd that Rowan would be going to a place as the academy Luke and I attended. It wasn't that I didn't think he belonged there; I was more than ever grateful to attach him to me just to get through everyday there.

I knew he thought he didn't fit there. He hated it, but from what he told, I his brother wanted the best for him.

Cooked up money with special business. I think I knew what it meant, but I didn't wanna press the obvious issue. He tries to hide things, but he's never going to be a very good liar. I tried to tell him I didn't care what he thought his lifestyle was, but he was too stubborn to listen. Even his file on Mom's laptop with student records held no personal information or an address of use. I'd go to him as sure as anything would right now, if I knew where I could find him.

I took slow footsteps to my closed door and pulled it open to a gush of cool air. I shivered before stepping out silently. I left the door open for quick escape back inside. I was headed to the main bathroom, but something kept drawing me to the door on the left of Luker's room. His door was wide open and I could hear the soft sound of his breathing. I smiled in at him as I made my way, taking my time to push Brendan's door open. I squinted my eyes at the hinges creaked. An involuntary squeak came from me as his scent immediately filled my nose. I turned the tableside lamp on and walked my way in carefully. I was shaking now and part of me wondered why, part of me was holding back. Digging my hands into one another and my bare legs so bad, keeping myself as to not break any and everything in this room. The thought of why did he get off so easily? How could he do this came? But then so did my heart, right into my throat and my face surprised me by twisted into a frown and my lips started to quiver, my teeth shattering along with them.

It wouldn't hurt seeing what he had around here. Curiosity and the panic of my real feelings made me open the draw and place myself on the bed. I looked to the algebra book and the picture of Luke and Brendan standing next to one another a little crooked next to it. _Luke was here. Wait, how can that not be an obvious thing? He wonders… He has a heart and he hates it just like me. Well, maybe not as bad. With age comes stronger emotions for newer heights. _I opened the draw and found a few spirals and pushing things around I found a hockey magazine, but when my fingers came into contact with something of leather and dusted material I immediately pulled it out.

What I saw made my eyes freeze with time, with the cool air. I didn't blink as they watered, my eyes flooded and my vision grew blurry. The cover was duty, but I didn't think this would even be here. Why would he still have this? And in a top draw? The cover had a decal on the front. **To Brendan: Carpe Diem, With Love Kassia. **It was the scrapbook I'd made for him when I was fourteen and he thirteen after just making the junior hockey team's major league. It was filled with notes and poems, awards and things I gathered for him. Hand made by me. And in the back were a few photographs. Brendan and I at the piano together, me hitting dad in the leg with a hockey stick.

And as I flipped the pages absentmindedly, tears cleared the dust. The last page made me sniff in sharp air. The picture was a recent one. It was when Brendan had broken the neighbor's window. The memory was four months, but as clear as the air was in my silence.

"_When I get sighed I'm gonna by you and Mom a new house."_

"_By yourself a new face while you're at it." I mocked, sticking my tongue out._

_Dad spoke with a slight amused and half-odd tone. "What's wrong with this house?"_

"_Brendan is living in it father." I spoke as Dad smiled at me. Brendan raised his hockey stick as Dad raised the camera. The glass shattered in a far off distance and Brendan's face was priceless._

"_Oh shit." Dad said. I busted out laughing._

"_Well look at that B, you have just broken another hardship of these Boston suburbs."_

"_Pose for us Kass while Brendan gets mom and fast." He motioned Brendan while turning the camera at me. I flipped my middle finger up into the air. "Oh that's not very nice. Gimme something more." Dad spoke, with raised brows._

"_I'll go all Marti Gras. No dad do Footloose." I joked. The camera shook as he stuck his leg out._

Just like that, the memory was stored back into my mind. Dad had taken a picture, but caught it at a bad time. Video loaded wise and Brendan must have put this copy in the book. I slammed it shut and threw it to the floor. How the fuck could, he be the way he was? This remorse is too much for me. I was quick on my feet and out of the room. I let the glass of water slip and did the same back into my room. I decided on a movie and I turned the slight volume of the TV on, popped in Bed of Roses, and sat back as the tears started up. I liked feeling fictional emotions. Crying over a movie not real, especially when Mary's character begged Christian's to tell her to stay. And when he did, I was so tight with the fleece.

There was full light beaming through my window and just as my eyes shut with a cluster of old, movies filling the TV the clock beeped. It was 8:30 AM and I had an hour to be ready for the trial. Dad didn't argue with me as I stated my going yesterday in the mumblings of leaving the hospital. I don't think his conscience was so light anymore. I stretched my muscles and did the same as my morning shower time passed quickly. I threw on a thin black button down knit top with my best pair of black and gray striped slacks. By the time, my flats and makeup were on and done dad was at my door. "If you're going let's get a move on. The courthouse is at least a fifteen minute drive." His voice as dead as the unmoving bed or fits of Brendan's scent in his room.

~************************************~

The car ride was a short one, but the tension was to long. Dad's breathing was never so rough and it mixed in with the car's smooth sounding engine. He didn't even wait for me as he exited the car, straightening his tie in the process. He was trying to seem together and formal about this, but anyone could tell he looked full or darkness and rage about to snap and shatter slice anyone with the pieces that hit them. We walked with many stares and whispers into the courthouse and when Detective Wallis motioned my father inside with the lawyer, he made me wait on an uncomfortable cold wooden bench.

The sounds of heels clicking, papers and must, people staring as they would normally when walking by. Most of them whispered to one another, to bad the bitches weren't brave enough to say it aloud. I sat in silence until I heard feet slithering down the floor. In automatic response, my head lifted and my eyes caught that of a most flameful stranger. He stood tall somewhere in the 6-era code. His hair was colored to dark to be brown, a deep purple or either burgundy and he wore black jeans with a much slick chain down his tall gangly legs. His top half wore a plain simple white button up with a blue and green striped tie. He had bruises all over his face. Mostly his jaw, cheek and his forehead.

His neck had tattoos seeping all over it as well. A blue star and one that read a familiar, all too familiar for me. It was like a trance, the warm air and his musty scent flew, rushed at me. Locking my body to the hard wood. He was beautiful. In a most unique way. His eyes looked straight to me and he winked once. His head tilted a little to the side and I let my mouth curl up into almost a come here smirk and a mix of an innocent yet forceful smile. All too quickly, his eyes scanning every inch of me rushed him. "Come on you. I want this over with." Spoke the officer who was handling him. He was without a doubt someone who like Rowan caught my interest.

The sound of the door opening and Wallis stood at them sighing as my dad again looked unhappy and extremely dissatisfied. "Come on Kassia." he spoke so low and simple the tone scared me. I followed him and when I'd taken my seat the judge has started talking when I looked to the left and spotted that unique stranger. _What? No, not him it can't be. That's Brendan's killer. But he's so young he's… _I sank into my chair, as he looked straight at my dad, flipping his tie and pointed two fingers in the shape of a gun. But when he looked to me, his finger made a quick circle and with the other hand, he stuck his pointer finger through the circle and smirked. I let out a harsh breath of air.

"Mr. Hume you're giving evidence that Mr. Darley here attacked your son before your eyes and caused his death?"

_Darley where have I heard that name before? Darley, Darley and then just as I turned I saw his familiar statue perched on a wooden chair behind the man's. I gasped in shock and his eyes locked with mine at that point. I quickly turned away. Oh, god no is this Rowan's brother. Is this why he lied? What's going on? Why is this happening? It's fucking much I can't take it I can't take. _

**As the stranger winked into my father's uncold rage filled eyes. The judge began speaking firmly. "Mr. Hume, Mr. Hume?"**

**He looked straight to her. "No your honor, I am not!" **_**What? What is he doing?**_

I started to speak. The lawyer jumped up adding in his two senses. "It was dark and there were a lot of them. I can't be sure anymore…" He trailed off. The stranger's eyes were written with extreme shock. The judge rambled on and I quickly pulled myself from the chair and stood motionless sin the isle way as Dad grabbed my arm and Rowan looked to me with pleading eyes. Dad's bore like a hailstorm into Rowan's as he pulled me out.

"Mr. Darley you're free to go a bailiff will return to you into the holding cell and you can retrieve your personal belongings."

We walked so fast and my mind was racing as were the tears running viciously down my face. We got into the car in silence before Dad hollered at me. "Get out! Now!" He ordered.

"Dad what is going on? What is wrong with you? Why did you do that you were so sure it was him I-"

"I'm not sure Kassia I don't know what to fucking do right now and at this point I need you to keep your god damned mouth shut!" he yelled, slamming his hand on the car wheel. It made me jump. But he looked up suddenly as we heard the roar of two loud engines. The mustangs that were marked alike rolled right up as the man were walking with Rowan right by his side. Dad's hands clenched the wheel so tight. I was in silent tears. They were marked with some sort of tribal swirl and dad looked at them with wonder and curiosity gleaming. They scattered first from the black glossy ford and next from the red one. A man jumped up onto the hood of the car as they all chanted. "Joey…"

So the guy that I knew killed my brother was named Joe Darley. And Rowan knew these people. But as a man that resembled Rowan, rich chocolate skin, gorgeous statue and dressed in all black and leather.

He grabbed the guy's face between his hands, that's when the driver's side door opened, and with the swirl of the car door, a brown leather trench coat whirled out from his tall form. He wore boots and jeans. He had a goatee and I could see the sun bounce the blue in his eyes. His shirt tight black. He whiffed up his collar and pulled a cigarette from his firm lips. He blew the smoke out and I was frozen, not with fear, but with wonder as my Dad. We watched him and could hear his voice.

He slapped his hand to Joe's shoulder and Joe spoke. "I did pretty fuckin' good huh?"

"I'm proud of ya. Who's your man now?" The man spoke. The way he moved, I couldn't take my eyes off. I paralyzed with anxious energy bolts and I could taste the fear he gave off right here. "I am." Joe spoke.

"Get in the car." He stated.

I got out quickly. "T-take a bus home and be careful Kassia." He spoke.

They made a U-turn in the road so fast my head spun. And as I ducked out of sight. My heart froze and leapt into my chest. Hidden around the short street corner I saw the one driving the black glossy car turn his head toward me and for a second I almost lost all willable air. I could see somewhere Rowan's sympathetic eyes. But what caught me in horror as I started on down to the bustop was my Dad tailing the cars at a fair pace hidden enough behind.

_Oh god no. He knows what he's doing now…._

_~**********************~_

**I didn't bother making notice my Dad had arrive home. My body was to unwilling to move. I think I was going into shock. I listened to motions and watched Luke go into the garage and saw my dad storm out. Mom followed in suite. Though when he made his way to Starfish turn and into a neighbor's driveway and parked I clamed down a bit. I'd decided he needed time and tried to let myself forget the detail of everything I saw earlier. Mom didn't bother questioning me and as it grew darker and I didn't bother, but setting and cleaning a few dishes avoiding the family video tapes I heard a door slam. I heard Mom's frantic voice and went straight for the living room.**

"**Nick honey what happened to your hand?"**

_**I climb, I slip, I fallReaching for your handsBut I lay here all aloneSweating all your blood**_

"**I uh, I cut it accidentally." And that's when I froze to my place like some invisible piano song came. My eyes were watering with fear. He'd gotten rid of me for a reason today and parking at a neighbors wad temporary. He lied…. And I choked inside myself as Mom went to get him bandages. "How you doin kid you ok?" he asked Luke. Then turned to me. "Kass?" I nodded and turned around. I made a line for the door and as I hit the deck, I heaved. I pressed myself against the wall. My air came out sharp. I slid to the ground with my tears howling. **_**God what's he done? What has happened to him? What did he just set…? Into motion? **_**My eyes widened with more tears. What is coming is making my gut turn and I know it can't be less than very hell upon this earth, coming straight to the Hume household!**

_If I could find out howTo make you listen nowBecause I'm starving for you hereWith my undying loveAnd I, I willBreathe for love tomorrowCause there's no hope for todayBreathe for love tomorrowCause maybe there's another wayI climb, I slip, I fallReaching for your handsBut I lay here all aloneSweating all your bloodIf I could find out howTo make you listen nowBecause I'm starving for you hereWith my undying loveAnd I, I willBreathe for love tomorrowCause there's no hope for todayBreathe for love tomorrowCause maybe there's another wayBreathe for love tomorrowCause there's no hope for todayBreathe for love tomorrowCause maybe there's another wayI climb, I slip, I fallInto your empty handsBut I lay here all aloneSweating all your blood_

_rate and review please. I DO NOT OWN THE SONG. IT'S BREATHE BY PARAMORE. AND THE DAMN TEXT WOULDN'T LET ME FIX THE ACTUAL TEXT LOL. SO SORRY._


	5. Chapter 4:

_Some things never change no matter how hard you try to make them. I never understood why anyone hid behind lies when the truth always comes out. I never could grasp death when it's close to me. I didn't understand how someone could be pushed so far that taking a human life was ok. But now, I question all of it. During these last few days he's been distant from everyone, but mom. Even so they have been on non- speaking terms. He'd cut his hand apparently and I knew why. I didn't want to talk or even think about him killing someone because it hurt. It all felt to out of body. How someone could be here one day and the next.... Gone poof. Like that stranger I was so fascinated with. He was dead._

_Dad had told mom what happened. Claiming Wallis told him at the office after he turned down psychological help, even if the company did offer to pay for it. I knew different. Dad had killed him and even though I felt a mix of emotions for this stranger, in some way I was sad for his family too. Because what Dad was to mind deranged, blind sided to see or the fact that he most likely knew and it made it all the more better, I saw how deeply the family cared. And when Rowan had told me a little about his family, he spoke with pride. He hasn't spoken or tried to call. I don't even know if he knows what to say at this point. Things are getting even more dangerous. Luke went missing last night. I thank god Dad found him. At the place where Brendan died of course. _

_I didn't know how Dad felt about all of this, but I knew he wasn't a ruthless killer. You think you know someone, but then.... I just can't think it hurts too much. _

_Luke and Dad haven't spoken since Luke came home last night. Dad went straight to work this morning and I decided to just skip my classes for the day. I don't have a good feeling about anything. It's taking its physical toll on me as well. It's written on everyone's faces. Mom looks tired. Dad is a mess, pale, nervous and sweaty. Luke looks blank and empty and me? Well, I'm to scared to even look in the mirror. _

_In record time I've made over 10 cuts on my arms. Breaks are invisible to me now. I go to set, eat or lie down. I set, fidget so I do the only thing I feel like I can to keep hold of reality. I get up; I go to the bathroom. I set now on the cold floor and cut deep. I don't even care if I hit a vein anymore. But I know somewhere that is a lie because if I wanted to die I'd already done it. As fucked up as everything is I just can't do it. These Darley people have made a mess of our lives and all they think about is their pain. Same as us. Grieving families are all the same. Lies are all the same. Fears are always brought out. People are always driven so far before they snap and lash out. _

_The air feels too strong now. If the house would crumble around me I'd be grateful. _

_There is a steady rain outside and even I can't enjoy it. I just enjoy the feeling of not seeming satisfied with the pain I am causing myself. So I cause more. The burn is hard to get past at first because pain comes in al forms. I wonder what a real deathly pain would feel like. _**Brendan knows that. My head slipped to me. **_I had to fight back the choke in my mouth. Of course he knew it. He got the worst death in my opinion. Not being able to stop the chokehold, the bleeding. It was what he made me feel like with no knife in hand at all. _

_The papers had printed Dad and Brendan's story. We weren't even mentioned. When I say we I mean Luke and I. It's like we didn't exist, their only baby gone. Brendan suffered the worst pain ever because it resulted in death, yet in my mind, tearing and fighting with my heart and guilty conscience it's not enough. He got off too easily. I hate feeling when I don't want to feel. I didn't know how much I'd set. I just looked at the cut and stared at the painting Luke had made for me on the wall. A blue sky in a simple iron fence. So odd, yet so beautiful. I could see it and it was beautiful. _

**You cross that bridge into the westAnd all my memories follow you thereWhere love took shape and love woke shameNow I'm left to take the blameFor rushing in, for closing upFor selling off what we built upYou were never wrong But all the sameMy way was so hard to changeSo hard to changeSo hard to change**

Time disappeared as I let my thoughts wonder. The phone had started ringing about the time of 4:23 PM and I let it go. Let it ring. Nothing anyone in this family had to say now could be important...

**This woollen blanketThis seaside viewAnd the war we waged on ocean chillAs we slipped awayThe grey stood stillHeld captive upon this hillAnd the lies he told,The result of fame**

The sound of doors closing didn't even phase me as I set. "Kassia, Kassia. Oh god Nick she's not answering." I heard another slam. "Thank god you're here." How could I possibly hear down the stairs? I almost laughed at my body's out of it experience.

"Calm down Helen. Just stay with Wallis."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

I heard her frantic movements and commands for Luke to stay with Wallis. "Honey, Kass." My Dad called. I looked up slowly snapping out of my trance and slammed the lock shut. I wasn't ready to be found with blood seeping down my arm. At that moment the door to my room slammed open and I heard the bathroom door clicking frantically. "Kass. Kassia. Are you all right can you answer me?" Nick called.

"I-, " I choked. "I'm fine Dad." I heard his sigh and his strained voice spoke out.

"Ok. Just- please try and be a little low key tonight. Luke and you are staying in and were going to get pizza, just please don't call anyone. You understand?" My brows rose in confusion.

**Where all your actions belie your nameWhen the rising sun won't break my fallYou'll still be the one I callThe one I callThe one I call **

There was one thing that made his behavior a lot more familiar to me. His voice was not only strained, but also now extreme amounts of fear and worry glazed over everything. I almost wanted to- no I do! Before anything else I pulled my sleeve down and pulled the door open. I needed my Dad's arms now more than anything. I opened the door just as he was starting out of mine. "Dad?" I sniffed. My eyes filled with moisture and I stared at him with my hands shaking at my sides. His eyes were lost, his face strained. His lip was cut and his hand was still wrapped. He looked pale and tired.

I turned my head to the side. "Kass?" And in that moment, his voice the way he was speaking. I was his daughter again. Everything was happening to fast. Before I knew it the tears were rolling from my eyes. "Aw, Kass. Don't cry honey please don't. I can't- you." His lips quivered before his hands dropped and walked over to me. He pushed his arms around me and brought me into his chest.

I cried as hard as I could. "Daddy what the fuck is happening?"

"I don't know Kass. I don't know." His voice was steady and harsh. He couldn't mirror that sadness.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I stood by Luke who looked as confused and frightened as I was. The difference and with my Mom's confusion. I knew everything that was going on and yet I couldn't speak a word. I was fucking rendered. I pulled Luke close to me as we watched Wallis scan Brendan's hockey trophies.

"Your son was a hockey player?" She spoke as more statement than a question. She made my eyes burn with rage. It wasn't anything to personal yet. But what made my rage o strong. She was just like any other cop. On the case of these men for years and gets her big break. Doesn't matter who dies as long as she gets the good story and some publicity in the end. I could be wrong... I glared at her as my Dad spit out a saddened "yes"

I pulled Luke close to me. And rubbed his shoulder reassuringly. We could each word spoken. "The car will stay here tonight. Now Mr. Hume, I think it's time you told me... and she paused and came back with a fierce statement. "exactly who did what to whom?"

He looked to my mother as she looked to him. I knew exactly what Wallis meant. I choked back a lump in my throat. "Make war on the wrong dog? Hmm?" There came that fucking pause again. "That whatch' you did? Thought you could just go kill some little ass whole because you live all the way out here?" Her voice was higher now. I pushed Luke a little to the left. "I'll be back Lukers. Stay, stay here." I drifted a little to the hallway and it didn't phase my mom that I was here.

"What are you saying?" Mom spoke disbelief through her. Wallis looked from Dad to her and then to me. I bowed my head on her eyes landing on me. She cocked her head. "What is she saying Nick?" My hand raised out of reflex to rub Mom's shoulder, but I let it falter. Her rushed in the guilt.

"I've done nothing wrong." His head shook. I could see the false lies and the scary era he now produced. It made me put my arms around myself and a few new tears fell loose as I shifted weight. "Well, then why don't you tell me how you made Billy Darley this pissed off at you!" So Billy Darley? That was the leader's name. Nick looked to me and mom finally took notice. His head bowed as I turned away, quickly brushing some loose tears. The red stain was visible through my sleeve.

Her face twitched back into that firm bitchy look. "You asked for my help," her voice lower now. Mom had let some tears slip and Dad was silent. The room felt a hell of a lot cooler now. I looked back up again. "All right, all right. Just um try to get through the night Mr. Hume. And be grateful you're still alive." My heart jumped. I knew it. Something is coming. And Rowan can't save me now even if he might ever try. I didn't want to think of whose side he had. I didn't know anything. I only felt anger now, wishing I hadn't hugged him.

Luke is in danger now. He doesn't deserve this and really Mom doesn't either. If I had said something....

"If you started a war.... God help you." The trail of this time had me bury my head into the crook of my arm. He turned to look at my mother and she shook her head in shock. He wasn't even eyeing me anymore. Only Wallis was. It made my face falter. I turned away. She exited the room.

"What have you done?" She choked. Her voice was high with emotion.

I stood still, frozen and she grabbed me and placed her arm around my shoulder. Dad flew right past us. The front door slammed. I didn't know or want to know what he said to Wallis. Mom just leaned her head into me. "Kass. Luke?" She called. He came his hands twitching and we both pulled him to us. "My babies. I love you both more than anything. I always have. " I held onto the warmth. All she could do now was hug us and ask us if we wanted to eat something?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dinner was silent as Mom kept Luke and me together away from dad. The cops had stayed in their car, only checking in once and like cop's do agreeing to a slice of pizza.

Darkness came quickly.

We ate and she put Luke and I to bed. For once I was glad to have her back again. I didn't stay asleep. My eyes focused on the ceiling and my urge came back. I let the trimmers rest on the pillow next to my head. I lay without the warmth or safety of my fleece, the sheet or the comforter. The rain had stopped and I lay there listening to the crickets. My heart was already soft at pumping with adrenaline. Mom hadn't seen these men and I knew. When Wallis had sent out her prayer like message. Basically saying we were fucked. The clock was big red in its letters already saying 12:38 AM

Mom hadn't slept yet and Dad hadn't either. I got up and slithered my way. I couldn't leave yet and the cops were making sure all of us kept in the house. I edged to the top of the stairs when I heard Mom speak. "I can't believe I didn't see what was going on with you." No, but I did. I slipped onto the floor silently and listened. Everything was still and house dark. "How could you do what you did?" Her tone came off harsh and I knew she was shocked to, but she meant it.

"You thought you could balance they equation. Put order in the universe?"

"I lost our boy." My chest stung. There came my mixed emotions back. I missed my brother now more than ever and even if he hurt me. God I wanted my crappy life to come back. I hated feeling lost more than feeling hurt...

"Your boy." I couldn't see their faces, but I pretty much knew what they were masked with. Not masked, what they were. For once truth was in this house. No one knew what to do, but comfort. Where was it?

I heard her voice closer now. "You are a good father. And nothing that has happened changes that," her voice whimpered off. My face faltered and I covered my mouth as tears came. He was somewhere in all these years I knew he still was. And I hate it. I hate all of this. I let my cries silently wash into my hand. "And I love you." She finished tears clearly in her voice. I couldn't hear the next bit that she mumbled, but I could hear silence and I knew she was using the comfort. I sighed and put my other hand to my chest. I still love my family. I still want them. I peaked from around the railing and watched as he hugged tightly onto her waist.

My family... I stifled the choked sob deep in my throat letting it roll right off my tongue.

If we could get through this than we'd maybe be ok. Maybe.... I wanted to try.

Mom left his side and I quickly rose up and scurried to my room. I hit the bed so fast. I saw her come in just as I pulled myself under the layers of blankets and curled to my fleece. "I Love you baby." She whispered into the dark. I let my tears slip and I whispered back." I love you to Mom." just as she closed the door. The pain came on like waves and as the clock struck a new hour I pulled the trimmers to my arm and cut deeply, letting it roll harshly, like nothing but a breeze.

I laid the bloody trimmers on the pillow and let my eyes stay awake. The clock was rested on 2:34 AM. The clock ticked on and I let my eyes rest, but just as they had closed and that dream weary of knowing I was falling asleep swept over I heard a new sound.

A horn. It blasted loud and it shook me awake. My eyes scrunched together as it wouldn't stop. I heard a shuffle from the next room and a thud. I laid half tired and a little frozen. I heard movement below and laid there listening. The gasp was loud and I flew up from my bed so fast as I heard another sound below. But someone caught me and threw the fleece to the floor. I screamed out. The face was clear as day and he looked exactly like Rowan. He went for me and my whole body went rigid. He pulled me so fast and slammed me to the floor as I kicked. "Look at your skin." He spoke cruelly. His tone was dark and my heart was beating so fast, my arm rubbing against his leather as he pulled me up screaming.

"NO GET OFF ME. DAD HELP ME. LUKE! MOM!" I screamed. I heard my mother as well and the man secured his grip around my waist. What was happening? This was it.... My mother was loud now and I heard Luke's wavy voice yelp out. "Get the fuck off me you fucking bastard!" I kicked. I heard noise coming up the stairs. "Dad!" I screamed. "No GET OFF ME. HELP ME!" My eyes were filling with tears. Everything was spinning so fast and I heard a gunshot as everything began.

_The action starts next chapter. Rate and review if you want. :) I DO NOT OWN THE LYRICS THERE ARE BY THE BAND PILOT SPEED. THE SONG INTO THE WEST. AND SHIT THE TEXT MESSED UP AGAIN LOL._


	6. Chapter 5

So everything begins finally. The prologue and the scene to it is finally in full in this chapter. I hope I did some justice. It was really hard to write. Hope you all like it.

**Chapter 5: Till My Soul Is No More. Who Can Be Sorry?**

**WARNING: CHAPTERS CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT!**

_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DEATH SENTENCE, THE PLOT OR THE CHARACTERS E.T.C, I ONLY CLAIM MY OC KASSIA. NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED. NOR DO I CLAIM THE LYRICS USED IN THIS CHAPTER. THEY BELONG SOLEY TO THE ARTIST TAYLOR SWIFT. I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CSI: REMIX THEY DID OF HER MOST RECENT SONG. "YOU'RE NOT SORRY" I DO NOT CLAIM ANY OF THAT!_

_-------------------------------------------------------_

"STOP IT! NOOOOO!" My voice traveled on. It was like I wasn't heard, this wasn't real. I knew something all this time, but I didn't expect this fallout. This man didn't care if I was innocent or scared even. He only cared about one thing, getting revenge on my family. "GET OFF ME YOU FUCKING JERK! GET THE HELL OFF ME! MOM, MOM, DAD. LUKE! SOME HELP HELP ME!" My cries were rendered. "Please leave me alone." I begged one final time as my cries faded out. His leather slid into the deep cuts on my arm and he growled as he was apparently noticing the satin of deep purple it made connecting with the leather. His eyes were dark and he wore a hoodie under a leather jacket, with the hood draped up.

His dark brown chocolate eyes were just like Rowan's. This was his brother. This was his life, his family. So he knew this all? Then he really wasn't my friend was he? I started shaking uncontrollably as he threw me into my door, busting it open. I saw pieces of the bathroom floor, pieces of wood. Scattered and the man pulled back as my Dad came flying out attached to a man's collar who wore a black bandana type thing around his head. He didn't even have time to notice as they went right over the banister and it all crashed into pieces and I threw my head back to avoid being hit. "Dad!' I screamed, thrashing once more. It was no use. He was too strong. The man reached out and grabbed onto the back of Luke's shirt as he was thrown from the other man. "Luke. Luke." I cried out. "Leave him alone he had nothing to do with this. LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I shrieked out. I heard my mother's screams.

"Mom. Mommy Get off her leave her alone. Leave us alone." I shouted. I let my blood curling shriek hit the walls of this torn apart home and kicked with all my might. The man hissed at me having trouble with keeping me in his grasp and keeping Luke as well. I reached for Luke as he cried out for Mom. "Kassia. Leave her alone!"

"Luke. Lukers. " I whimpered. At this point I wasn't able to do anything, but kick furiously. My mind was going mad and all I did was scream and thrash furiously.

"Mom ah!" Luke yelled. As we neared the stairs. A man a little more dark skinned with a tattoo stretched above to the top of his head. He had a hold of my mom and she kicked and Luke reached out for her. The man pulled back on her growling and his hand hit her boob as they fell down the slick stairs, tethered with wood and dust, whit everywhere. I jerked get off me! Stop it! Let go!" And he did. He grunted and threw me past the man and down the stairs. I slid in the dust and ruble. I went to crawl for the person nearest and that was my Mom. I tugged on the ends of her satin robe and she reached for my hand and screamed as the man threw her aside. I scrambled up only to feel an immense sting on the back of my neck. My palms slid all over the hard wood and blood smeared into the wood.

I strained to get up as mom held onto the wall! "GET OFF ME YOU FUCKING... BASTARD!" She yelled. The man behind me kept hold of Luke's shirt. I screamed as loud as my lungs would let me and it felt piercing as my Mom's blended in, her hold on the wall lost. My hope of one of us getting away lost. He threw her to the floor and pulled Luke from the other man. When I looked up I saw this man. Billy Darley. He stood in dark jeans, twisting his head around in readiness. I saw nothing, but darkness and vengeance in his eyes. He had that same tired look my dad had these past weeks. Gloves were over his hands and those dark tribal marks seeped up from that familiar red jacket. He leaned his head back defiantly and I saw the gun to his side.

"Oh god NO!" I screamed and I scrambled up finding my fear dulling from paralyzing to a tiny sting. As soon as I was up on my way to my mother's yelping form I was grabbed back and jerked up in the air. I shrieked as loud as my throat would let me. It poured, but it was meaningless. No one was coming to help and Dad's cries of pain behind me and the other man's groans. My breathing stopped and it escaladed fast. I heard everything, everyone in my entire life's voice echo in my head.

"_Oh shit."_

"_You think? I dunno maybe Picasso has some new age competition." _

"_I'm the undying smart-ass and my hockey stick says it all."_

"_My babies... I love you both so much."_

I closed my eyes and my tears slipped. I couldn't breathe. This was it. We were all dying. We had been for days, a week. I was able to twist my head in a rush behind me to my Dad who lay groaning and trapped under white pieces of wood. Dark pieces dust and glass. Lying tangled up with that man.

I never thought it would be this way at all. In this past week and a half, my life had turned around drastically, yet here and now, here I stand, my arms being crushed behind my back. The freshly made cuts on them burning, as this black man held onto me, he smelled like whiskey, leather, and smoke, his hands rough like the other man's who dragged me from by bed, away from the razor I left laying on my pillow. I watched in horror as the red leathered arm of my flame, the familiar figure that had grazed my vision these past few days, shot straight out, his fingers curled around the black gun. He spoke up, his deep voice making shivers go down my bare body as I was only in my black laced panty and bra set.

His eyes burned staring into me like a long lit rage of fire was being flamed only more. I turned my head away. I wasn't being thrown to the ground, but thrown into that Latino man. He smelled strong, stronger than regular smoke. "No! No." I whimpered. The dark man strode over to Billy and took his place.

He stayed silent as Billy spoke.

He spoke up, his deep voice making shivers go down my bare body as I was only in my black laced panty and bra set. "She's beautiful Hume. Black hair, that I'm gonna be pullin, large breast that will fill the hands I kill your bitch with. Smooth skin to touch and rub along, beautiful smooth legs that will be wrapped around me, while I fill her. " My mother screamed out and Luke whimpered. I turned my head. He barely spoke, until now. He scrunched his face up.

My whole body shook, he can't do that to me, and he will not be the man, better yet the monster that touches me first. I shook my head tears filling my eyes, my lip started quivering, and my whole body violently began to shake. I "remember that now, get that through ya fuckin skull!" I cried out for my fourteen-year-old baby brother lying on the floor in front of me, and my Mom across from him. Her eyes going back and forth between him and me.

Her eyes were welded with tears, her face covered with fright, her eyes locked with mine. I saw his bearded and scared face scrunch up and twist, before he raised his gun in a defying demeanor to my brother who shouted out. I looked to my left; everything seemed to happen in slow motion. My dad his eyes locked only on my mother's, her frantic calls of "no!" And her frantic shouting. Luke was shouting "No!" I heard him yell to me, as did my mother. "Kassia." My eyes welded with tears I tried to move being knocked in my stomach, as I could no longer move or breathe.

"Yeah. Kill these motherfuckers. Do it." The men egged on. Dark, hoarse.

I heard a click, and he pointed the gun straight at Luke's head. "No, Luke!" I shouted, with my mom's calls. "No!" I screamed out, my sharp shrill sounds piercing the night air, as the sound of the bullets collided with my scream. I felt like I was out of my body, watching this from some horror movie, through a window, a window of some else's life. Though this was my life, this was happening to me. I stared in horror heart pumping, stomach turning, hands clenched, hot tears spilling down my warm cheeks, I knew it was about to begin!

I didn't even recognize the sound that came from my mouth. It was harsh, deep. As fast as it took for me to react to seeing Luke's face twist closed and crimson run from the top of his head. A heard the leather of his arm shift and my eyes widened as the gun changed direction, shot out and another sound bounced off. My eyes were wide. "MOM!" I screamed. I heard my Dad's voice and saw him running straight. The man pulled me back as my shrieks came out. "NOOOOOO- AHH." His tired mouth yelled out. It sounded off, deathly.

"STOP IT!" I shrieked, kicking madly. And his face twisted like nothing. I didn't know where to look. I heard a shot rang out and my Dad's full force to reach my mother. He twisted as the small stain of crimson flashed before he hit the floor. Billy stood there a moment frozen with time and the dark man shook his head before his mouth twitched. My voice was long drought out and my cries turned hoarse. "Oh god." I went limp into the man's arms and he laughed darkly into the eerie lifeless silence. My family lay still on the floor, my baby brother gone unprotected. "Luke. Oh god..." I croaked out.

The man pulled me up roughly as Billy's face twitched up and his head shook with satisfaction. His eyes bore into me before he placed the gun back to his side. "Just fucking kill me too. If they die then I die with them! Bastard." I whimpered out. I didn't even fight as the other man took hold of me. I felt someone's sharp and rough hand grab me. " If I wanted to kill you I would have fucking done it first bitch." He jerked my shin roughly to face his heavy ragged mouth and dark face. "Were far from done. Tonight is far from fucking over. Kassia Hume." He spat my last name like dirt. Before everyone turned and walked over my family. I whimpered and struggled as the man pulled me roughly.

"No I can't leave them! Let me stay! Luke. M-mom. Dad."

I was drug, my toes burning from the carpet's hold on them. The man slammed something against my mouth before throwing me over his shoulder. He crushed my hands as the Latino man pulled out a blue light rope and he placed it over my hands from my place on the man's shoulder. "Get the fuck up them stairs and get his ass." The man stood up groaning and wiping at the seeping blood from his shoulders and wiping the debre from himself. He limped up the broken stairs grunting the whole way. "Put that girl in the back and watch her!" Billy demanded. I sobbed quietly as the front door opened and car horn sounded out.

The burst of night air fell all over me and I shivered. My skin was tainted, sore and flushed.

I cried and my weak attempts at beating the front of this man with my feet died out. I saw the gloss of the cars as he swung me forward and threw me into the back. My nose was immediately filled with the stench of leather and smoke. I cried into the duck tape. The blood running down my arm and the man's necklace. A heart with a dagger clung to it, leaned forward with his figure as he pushed himself over me and seated himself in the back. The front door slammed and the black gun was clicked once and tossed to the floorboard. I could barely see through my blurred tears and angry rage. I saw him grab his cross. "Fucking Joe." Was all his deep voice spoke into the night. He looked back to me and his hand pulled back and the material of the cool sweaty gloves rubbed my bare knee.

" No one makes a fucking mess in my world. No fucking exceptions!" And the loud roar of the engine came and I cried silently looking to the open door of my house and window. I bowed my head as my sobs were stopped by the thick gray sticky tape. My eyes widened as the man came out limping, blood pooled from his knee and he was with two other men. One in a deep green jacket and the same one that way in the mass of mini destruction on my entry way floor. My broken home.....

Last thing my brother ever did right. Have his eyes on the prize. Kassia is it?" Billy spoke darkly. "Gave me an idea." My legs buried themselves sinking into the leather as we pulled away from my house. Billy's eyes moved to the rearview mirror as his tires screeched turning the corner. My head moved around to watch until my house came out of the sight. Billy's eyes nodded into the mirror. I heard another roar behind us.

_All this time I was wasting_

_Hoping you would come around_

_I've been giving out chances every time_

_And all you do is let me down_

The dark man next to me shook his head and what I saw in his eyes confused me. They were remorseful. He pulled his jacket off and placed it over my bare legs. He looked to me and leaned into my ear. "I'm gonna take this shit off your mouth, but if you scream I'll have to put it back on Kassia, ok?" I was engulfed in tears and only nodded absentmidedly. He pulled the tape from my mouth and the hot air went away and I opened my lungs as a soft cry escaped them. I leaned my head back and cried. "Why?" I whispered.

"Why?" His voice was rough from the front. "Because your ass hole of a Daddy took my fucking brother from me!"

"So, your brother took mine from me!" I choked.

"From the looks of your arms and legs baby I don't think it was a problem was it?" His fist clenched onto the wheel as he made another turn. "Does it feel good? Ya know Rowan tells big brother everything and he eventually tells me. See I don't like being fucked with and your father stepped up into my end of the fucking sewer. So after the little fucking fun house chase I had me some quality time with a family photo a nice fucking chat and family time. "

"Fuck-" I was cut off as the man placed his hand over my mouth. "Bodie tape her fuckin' mouth shut. I don't want this bitch screaming. Well, when were not alone." The car halted to a quick stop. I flew forward. "Out," Billy commanded. "Make sure those two don't fuck anything up! Send Spink back to the office and make sure your ass is back here in fifteen fuckin' minutes!"

My heart sank. No he wasn't leaving me alone with this man. No. I sniffed as the man climbed forward. "No!" But it was useless as it was muffled. I saw Billy turn and his eyes sparkled as he moved to the back seat. I scooted as far as I could my breath shaking massively. He pulled me to him and placed his hand on my bloody arm. He threw Bodie's jacket to the ground. He shook his head. "Rich fucks aren't good for no one!" He growled. He leaned over and kissed my neck and I shivered. He pulled the tape from my mouth and I let out a shriek. "Go ahead. Scream. It won't help ya know? I didn't take that fucking tape off for nothing. Shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you." His hand pierced my cheek and I sobbed as my head went to the side. I felt his fingers tickle my thigh.

"What are you doing? D-don't." I whimpered.

_And it's taking me this long _

_Baby but I figured you out_

_And you think it will be fine again but not this time don't have to call anymore_

_I won't pick up the phoneThis is the last straw_

_Don't wanna hurt anymore_

_And you tell me that you're sorryBut I don't believe you baby_

_Like I did beforeYou're not sorry, ohh no no no_

"Shh." He growled. I froze as I felt his fingers brush under the rim of my panties and my bottom arched off the leather and my knee hit the rough denim of his. "Please..." I begged one last time as he brushed them against my bare center. I let out something that wasn't a whimper. I heard the leather crunch as he whispered in my ear. "I'm gonna take a little fucking tour."

_Looking so innocent, I might believe you if I didn't 've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the you've got your share of secrets and I'm tired of being last to now you're asking me to listen cause it's worked each time before._

I leaned my head back as I felt his fingers feel around and travel lower, right for the place he wanted. I felt him push it aside and the tip of a warm finger slipped inside me. I hissed as the slight sting took notice. My tears were dried and my eyes burned. I felt something more coldly as he pushed the rest of his finger inside me and I lifted up with the pressure it was causing. I felt another slip as he slid in another finger. "Uh.." I whimpered tossing my head back. "Well well well. Tight." He pulled his fingers from me and I gasped as the pressure faded. He twitched them back and forth. He wiped them off on the leather of the coat. "So much blood and I barely even fuckin' touched ya. I didn't expect. All the better. Hume's virgin Mary." He laughed darkly. And before I could whimper again he pushed the fingers back up into me making me cry out in pain.

His other hand came down and began rubbing me. "There we go." Not so hard is it?" I tried to keep my mouth locked down, wishing like hell he'd let me keep the tape over it. I let out a moan as his fingers started thrusting in and out of me and I arched my back into the seat and my self up into his hand. He growled as I bucked up once more. His head was twitched and I couldn't stop myself from lingering my gaze into his eyes as I began to feel the familiar fire rise up.

_You don't have to call anymoreI won't pick up the phoneThis is the last strawDon't wanna hurt anymoreAnd you tell me that you're sorryBut I don't believe you babyLike I did beforeYou're not sorry, ohh no no noYou're not sorry ohh no no_

I squeezed tightly onto my muscles and tried to push the feeling back down, but he placed one hand over my stomach. "You can't stand it can you?" He whispered darkly, the husky whisper tingling through the air. "Come for me Kassia. You'll learn you can't fight me off." His tongue lingered against the hollow base of my ear.

"N-no." I moaned and bucked. I couldn't stop the vibrations forcing there way through my body. Attacking my every thread, washing over it like an icy fire. It took me and I moaned out and arched up into his hand. His motions went faster and I ignored the warmth and sting spreading throughout me. I moaned out as the fire hit all portions of my body and making my legs become one with the leather and my toes curl. My fingers grind together against the rope. I tried to hold the long moan as the fire spread to my stomach and made it's way down taking my muscles with it. He kissed the middle of my throat and the moan came out loudly. "God..."

"Isn't here," Billy cut me off. "It's me girl. Right now..." I nodded into him as my eyes fluttered and the spasm rocketed my center and skidded me to a halt sinking back down into the leather. After that I couldn't think. I didn't know what to feel. He removed his fingers from the elastic of my panties and climbed up front just as there was a knock on the window. Bodie climbed in. "Baggy's almost bandaged up. Heco's with him and I'll go back tonight." Billy nodded and Bodie turned to look at me in the back.

"What'd you fuckin' do to her?"

"We haven't even got to the painful part yet." Billy grunted. "Billy-"

"You better shut the fuck up Bodie! I told you once I won't let you get by with all the shit and you better remember that."

Bodie sighed. " I know man, but she's just a baby. She's not even eighteen until-"

"Until twenty minutes from now." Billy finished. "Your brother gives under threats ya know? But don't worry I didn't hurt the sore sobbing fuck. I'll have her in short time and by the time I get done with her there won't be an untainted piece of skin left on her."

_You had me calling for you honey and it never would have gone away, used to shine so bright but I watch our loving you don't have to call anymoreI won't pick up the phoneThis is the last strawThere's nothing_ _left to beg forAnd you tell me that you're sorryBut I don't believe you babyLike I did beforeYou're not sorry, ohh no no You're not sorry ohh no no no_

_---------_

_Rate and review please. Hehehe you know I love em! ;) :) XX-Kris. _


	7. Chapter 6:

_DISCLAIMER: LYRICS USED IN THIS CHAPTER BELONG SOLEY TO ARTIST ENYA AND THE BAND OF FISHER. PAINT THE SKY WITH STARS BY ENYA AND I WILL LOVE YOU BY FISHER. I DO NOT CLAIM THE LYRICS. Enjoy though everyone. :)_

_So, I worked really hard on this chapter. I added in a humanity twist to the Darley gang from what I observed watching DS haha. Kassia is 18 now. And she's so far gone in shock and denial. Thank U to the people who reviewed last time. XX-Kris._

_My head stayed silent on the back of the seat as more tears slipped from my eyes. This was the first time my tears felt heavy, like steel bars. My whole life had been a steel bar and I thought it couldn't get any worse. But it did, and now that I got my wish wanting my Dad out of my life, permanently silenced. I never meant it that way I didn't! I can't stop what happened, but I should have been able to do something, anything. At least to save my baby brother. God.... Luke, Lukers. He had so much potential and now? _

_My mouth tried to open, but the substance of the tape kept it sliced shut. It was burning. I blinked a few times and my legs were aching. My entire lower body was on fire. No matter how many times I tried I couldn't shake the image of his thin face, gone ghostly. My Dad's tired eyes shut my Mom's worries gone forever.... All that was left of the Hume in me was my arrogance. That wouldn't save me now. Snappy comebacks? What can that do? My body jolted into itself and Bodie turned in his seat, closing his eyes and shaking his head once._

_I let my eyes plead with him. If someone had a spark of humanity left it might be him? He cocked his head to the side and I raised my hands slightly. I blinked and let more tears release, cold. Cold tears? His bowed his head and shook it again. I couldn't speak, but I shook my head as well as few times. He got it obviously because his hand raised before it faltered. Billy turned to him from the side, his eyes glanced back to the wheel immediately and the sound of the gloves was clear as his palms dug into the leather wheel. And for a moment I could have sworn I saw a flash of water glazed over them. _

_He looked to Bodie again and Bodie patted his shoulder, more leather creaking. _

"**Billy how about we-"**

"**Don't you fucking dare!" He suddenly snapped. **

"**I'm just sayin'..."**

"**I can't fuckin' help her Bodie and you know it! I don't go fuckin' back. Only forward!" **

_Bodie turned around again and shook his head sadly. I leaned my head back into the seat and my eyes went weary. I was starting to feel the same exhaustion and my body was blocking more tears and my mind was blocking what happened. It's a dream this isn't happening. I'll go to sleep and let the nightmares come, then it will all be gone. Yes, it'll be gone. Gone, gone, gone..... I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Sleep came easier then I thought it would be. You're not scared my mind told me. You love your family with your whole heart my heart spoke out to my head. The internal battle clashed with the denial and the dream weaving weary swept over me. I let my eyes flutter shut and the tape silence me. I put the form of the X to good use and let it cross out everything wrong tonight......_

(3rd Person)

Kassia's breathing had ceased. The roughness was gone. Bodie had to turn and make sure she was still breathing. Not only had he had to deal with Rowan's emotional mess these past few days he also had to protect him. It didn't matter if Billy was his bonded brother, no! If someone took his flesh away then he would stop at nothing or no one no matter how much they meant to him to get the person that caused it. Joe meant the most to him. Billy's light in this dark world and now he was gone. The two men set in the front and Bodie watched his best friend, his brother as his eyes stayed frozen to the road. It only left the road once, the stone place where his feelings connected and looked to the rearview mirror, glancing at Kassia in the back seat. It was crucial to others how they had their perceptions of Billy Darley.

He didn't care at all, but Bodie had sometimes wanted to shout out that Billy wasn't a fucking monster. He did what he had to, but wouldn't do what he didn't feel through his soul that he needed to do. Everyone sees what they want to see. They'll never know a true-life bond. The Darley gang may not be saints, but their world isn't one big lie. They don't hide behind money or make-up facades. The truth is always told, some secrets, but loyalty never dies. Bodie wanted this world much more than anything he could have been. All of the men had choices and they chose.

It was so hard to fight an internal battle with yourself and your life. But what Billy always taught the men. That one little phrase. **"Where does your heart reside?" **And they all had chosen where it lied. It wasn't easy to kill, but when you doing it for something you believe in, it made the choice justifiable. Fucked up to anyone who didn't understand it. Every person no matter who they are, except devils, demons, hell and serial killers feel. To gangsters its harder, much harder. Because they can't feel. If they felt for everything they did and everyone they killed then there would be nothing. No purpose for them.

Joe was Billy's purpose. Wanting Joe to have his heart into something he believed in. That purpose was gone and Bodie knows Billy will now truly be gone with him. You take away one Darley brother and you take off half of the Darley.

Billy always held on by a thread, but when Joe was taken so was Billy's heart. What was left of him anyway. Billy looked as though the car floated a lone on the black dark, wet street. His breathing was loud as usual and rough. He blinked and turned his a few times. His mouth twitched. It was over now and Billy had nothing left to take. Another purpose gone for Billy and Bodie knew Kassia would be on the receiving end of his lost purpose. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard if Rowan didn't care with his whole being about this girl. Men were easier to take away. Because they can't bear children, much less a future to be thoughtful about taking....

_**Suddenly before my eyes**_

_**Hues of indigo arise**_

_**With them how my spirit sighs**_

_**Paint the sky with stars**_

Bodie to felt empty. Joe was his second light and lost his brother. Bodie couldn't imagine what he would be if Rowan was taken from him. Bones would be afraid of him.

Billy pulled into the familiar alleyway of the backside apartments near Stokely Hall. The car stopped and Billy turned the ignition off. He leaned back into the seat.

_**Only night will ever know**_

_**Why the heavens never show**_

_**All the dreams there are to know**_

_**Paint the sky with stars**_

"Bodie.." He spoke quietly.

"Yeah man?" Bodie looked up at him.

"I'm gonna take her ass on up and get shit ready. Make sure the ass holes run rounds tonight. Last thing I need it Bones fucking up my last plan." The roughness was on the edge of his tone, but he couldn't produce enough if it to make anyone shake. Anyone that didn't know him of course.

"So what are you gonna do after..." Bodie motioned his hand to the back seat.

Billy stayed silent for a moment before leaning up and pulling his cigarette pack from his back pocket. He lit one up quickly and scratched his chin before removing the black gloves and throwing them near Bodie's legs on the floorboard.

_**Who has paced the midnight sky? **_

_**So a spirit has to fly**_

_**As the heavens seem so far**_

_**Now who will paint the midnight star? **_

"I don't know yet. But the bitch isn't getting the easy way out. Anyone with the last fucking name of Hume..." He trailed off again, puffing the remaining hit and tossing it out the damp window. The cool air made both men suck in. " What about Wallis?" Bodie questioned.

"Don't worry about that bitch. She'll have her hands full anyways. She's nothing I can't fucking handle."

Bodie sighed in agreement. "Yeah Billy, but you know she's gonna love the fact that Hume's daughter's body is missing. Which only means one thing for her. It gives her ass a chance to come after us."

"Like I fuckin' said Bodie. I can handle that bitch. I have for years; her tricks are nothin' new. "

Bodie nodded. "Man I know that shit has been rough, but you know I always got your back on this. You know that! Just don't...."

"You just fuckin' worry about your brother Bodie and let me worry about Hume."

_**Night has brought to those who sleepOnly dreams they cannot keepI have legends in the deepPaint the sky with stars**_

"Ok." Bodie sighed defeated. "I'll be down the hall, just knock if shit goes down." Billy nodded.

Bodie patted his brother's shoulder once more before exiting the mustang. Once he disappeared Billy looked to the back. Deciding it was best and extra cautions to leave her sleeping. He could get what he needed to get done easier if she was asleep and get the plan in motion.

He got out and stretched his muscles before pulling the back seat open. He grabbed Bodie's leather coat and tossed it over Kassia, picking her up in his arms. She was cold and pale. The same lifeless look and denial written all over her face that Billy had known only all to well. She was light, but freezing. She was trembling, but she stayed unmoving in his arms. With ease he grabbed the gun and placed it in his back belt loop. He left the gloves and shut the door. His adrenaline kicked back in. Time for another fulfilling moment. He was making good on his promise to Nick Hume. He was going to fuck his daughter. No remorse, a second thought, anything!

_**Who has paced the midnight sky? So a spirit has to flyAs the heavens seem so farNow who will paint the midnight star?**_

The cuts and gashes were clearly visible all over her body. He knew that pain. It pissed him off because he had thought Hume to be this clean-cut fuck. Making his revenge all the more tasteful, better. Now because of the problems he obviously caused, it made things sort of tasteless.

Billy reached the dark halls of the building. He walked down that familiar path of slim light, Buzzing noises and took his key from his pocket and popped the lock. He wasn't stupid enough to leave it unlocked for someone to come for. Especially anyone who wanted a report of Darley life or Billy himself. The place was clean enough. Billy lived in this apartment with himself only. As strange as it may seem, most thinking he and his gang would share a place, they didn't. Except for his close living to Joe and Bodie staying some times, but mostly with Rowan as Rowan lived with their mother, but she was out drinking half the time.

Billy liked his own space. Free to be they're without any distractions or frustrations from his gang. Bodie did live there, but was MIA a lot.

He slammed the door and double locked it. Picking a black zipped up bag from the counter he walked down the wooden hallway and opened the door to his room and tossed the girl down in the middle of the messy deep blue sheets. He pulled the bag open, pulling out a few items and tossed it to the floor. He pulled the sheets down and untied her hands. They were red and still shaking on their own. He pulled her right wrist up first and placed the black double rope through the whole of the silver post and tied it harshly to her wrist. He then moved a little over her and did the same with the other hand. He decided to remove the tape for better coverage. No one could hear the bitch anyway. He wanted to hear her beg. Once the tape left her mouth she sucked in sharply before falling limp and her breathing came out lightly. Billy stood back to give her the once over. She had one simple diamond through her navel and her toned and curves struck him out. The plan would be better then anything.

He reached into the bag and pulled out a long roll of condoms, ripping one package off and tossing it to the nightstand. The clock on the side of the stand read 2:30 AM. Not much time had passed, but it felt like eternity. He wasn't giving her any object of comfort. The only comfort she would be getting was if her own body produced the wetness. It would be a challenge, but Billy took pleasure in that.

He stood back and gave her the once over. She jerked and let out a shriek before her eyes flew open. They closed again before fluttering and opening once more. She let out a hoarse sob. "No... fuck no." She cried.

"Yes." Billy beamed in. She jerked, but failed and went limp. He knew she had no more strength left. He grinned darkly and removed his shirt. "How are we gonna do this? Huh Hume?" He growled.

Kassia tried to scoot up, but he held her legs down and slapped her cheek harshly. "Well look at that. 2:34 AM. Happy birthday bitch!" She let out a loud cry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

_My dreams were the same. Brendan taunting me. But my fears came. I felt cold and I was there back at my broken house staring at my dead family. Luke lifeless. And I heard the rain begin again around me. A flood of water carried blood down the stairs, Luke's paintings floated with it, family videos and pictures. I cried out as it swept my feet, my hands were numb and I felt someone near me. Mom. Luke. Dad. It has to be them. It's all a dream again. My eyes snapped open and he was there. Billy Darley stood, crawling towards me like an animalistic monster. I let out a loud scream hoping this wasn't true. I ruined my own fucking chances at escaping._

_**Place a name upon the nightOne to set your heart alightAnd to make the darkness brightPaint the sky with stars.**_

_After the ordeal with Billy I hated myself with all the strength I had left, which wasn't much, but enough darkness inside of me to pull out energy for my hate! I denied it felt good for the first long minutes of this ride. My sobs were quiet, but strong and my chokes were vile and weak. Darley had placed another piece of tape in the form of an X for his own personal pleasure on my mouth back in that car. He made me very aware of the fact that he was doing something much more worse than murdering me._

_He wasn't taking my life! He made it clear numerous times enough. No he was taking up the one thing I had saved up for so long. My innocence!_

_After everything I didn't care what he did to me. Trying to get my own justice wouldn't help. My entire family was gone and nothing in death made sense to me. Look what my father's justice had caused! My head looked back and forth, as this room seemed to get darker. His shadow hovering near me. I couldn't escape him now. I didn't know what time it was I'd guessed maybe 4 or 5 in the morning, but he made it clear. My birthday was here. The day I was free from my parents and Brendan the day I wanted so badly and now? I sniffed. I cried quietly with no boundary. _

_More tears came and came and came. Billy Darley hovered himself over me. He slapped me harshly. His skin was warm and I didn't want it. I wanted the cold feeling to match my body, mind, heart and soul._

_He yanked my underwear from my thighs and pulled them off. My hands moved against the silver wildly. I couldn't hold on to anything nor could I cover myself up. _**"Your a woman now Hume. I promised your father something now didn't I? I always follow through on my promises**_**." **__He laughed darkly as he lifted up and pulled the buckle loose and zipper to his jeans down. He wasted no time as he pushed his pants down. I cried out and turned my head away. He slapped me again. _**"No Kassia your gonna fuckin' look!"**

_He pushed my bra up and threw it from me. He rubbed my bare shoulders and slid his hands down my arms and brushed past my breast. My heartbeat came to my throat. He pushed against my breast harshly before biting at my neck. I could feel him all over me. _

"No." I begged.

_Like my voice tonight it was rendered useless. Had no meaning. "Go ahead and scream Hume, but it won't help you. No one can hear you but me." His hands leapt up my thighs and traced me. My throat closed and I let out a gulp. He licked the bottom of my collarbone and the tip of his tongue slithered up my neck. His hand gripped my center tightly and I whimpered my body jerked into it. I didn't know what was wrong with me tonight? Why couldn't I stop my body from reacting? I tried to close my legs and they fought his big strong ones. I saw the tattoos seep from his neck and down his shoulder blades. They must've stopped somewhere on his back._

Som_ething came over me in a fraction of a second as he gripped me again letting his hand catch between my legs. The more I fought him the more it worked. So I let my legs open. Why, why was I doing this when this man had just killed my family? Why couldn't I control this all better? Was I really that twisted with denial? He kissed the cuts on my wrist. "Ow god. Stop!" I cried out. He laughed, not quite cruelly, but with a cocky tone to it. It reminded me of that fascinating stranger whom I branded Joe as. I shut my eyes from this mess and I heard a snap. "If that hurts then you definitely won't like this." He growled, sharply slipping in an inch or two of himself. I cried out. "Ow, stop it!" _

(3rd Person)

He had to resist a frustrated grunt. He'd hated the hassle of virgin's, and though he took much pleasure and satisfaction, hell even justice, especially in his enemy's daughter. Nick thought of him as Bones's spawn and he pictured Kassia that way.

The thought made him grin darkly as he pulled the inches out making her breath release to it's slightly elevated levels. "D-don't please! I didn't know anything I swear. And I don't care who the fuck you think you are," She spat, but, "your not getting the chance to rape me Billy Darley!" She finished growling.

Billy smirked. He never would rape someone, that is a line even he wouldn't dare to cross into. It's not like his fuck's or whatever they were resisted anyway... But this bitch was putting up to much trouble and he was getting upset with her. He has planned on killing her after he'd had his fun. He hadn't expected her to be a virgin and he would have found out the hard way if he hadn't slipped his fingers inside her in the mustang. He didn't need any diagram or any proof to know that she was one. She was way to intact and way to soft and slim they're to have any sort of contact. He was surprised to say the least. It wasn't stopping him as he pushed in more of himself making her cry out. "Ow, ow ow. Ouch." She whimpered, her eyes filling up.

Just like he'd hoped her body produced the wetness he needed. He knew she wasn't quite where he wanted her to be, but the fact that he could torture her with what her body was responding to was good enough for him. "Wow Kassia. So much wetness. Admit it baby you like this don'tcha?" She screamed out and he let out a grunt as he met the resistance. More fucking resistance......

*****************

"God stop!" I screamed. _The pain was shredding me. Billy had me already, along with shredding my body's last piece of childhood away he was taking me away. I was fighting down moans, but my legs kept trying to close. It wasn't me, but rather my body on high defense and that made me feel like wanting to die. Or kill myself for letting it feel good. My hands jerked as he pushed in more, the pain twisting it's way further up into my body. I let the heel of my foot slide up his thigh. _"Ouch. Oh god." I whimpered. _The pain was getting hotter and it twisted into a slicing torture and ache. _

_He did something that surprised me and released one hand and I surprised him as well and myself as the free hand didn't fight to get away, but it immediately went into his back and clawed harshly. He pushed my forehead up to his and his dark eyes sparkled as he growled. And for a moment I let myself deny and got most in the dark sparkle dancing all around in his eyes. _

_His lips bit into my hungrily and I let myself get lost. I bit his lip harshly and it didn't phase him as he pushed, the twist making me scream out and the tears slide down. My head twisted into the blue bed sheets and his bare waist was shaking as he pushed forward. I screamed out and he growled again, sighing and it was then he lifted up against my quiet form. I let my eyes linger closed as I felt the fullness inside of me. I tried so hard to cry to hate it, but the denial washed further and I lost it. I lost Kassia now. I had finally become Billy Darley's toy. I didn't care about the ache, but to grasp onto control as my mind begged for me to keep it senses I pushed it down through my hurt and broken self and body. It screamed for me as I buried it under myself. His eyes burned into my and I screamed on as the new pain came. Soon enough noises were coming from not only him, but me. I was crying and moaning all at once. The thrust hurt more than anything I'd ever felt. His right hand rest onto my wrist, but he enjoyed watching me loose myself. He smirked satisfied. "I'm killing you." He whispered once before thrusting harder. _

_I felt him stiffen and then the sound of heavy breathing came. I started to cry out and he pulled from before pushing my hand back roughly and tying it up. _

_He stopped and got up. He leaned over me. "I got you Hume. Your a woman in my world. And without your pathetic family you have no world. I'm not done bitch!" And he left me alone. Slightly covered and bleeding on the bed. Confused at how consensual what just happened was. How I was gone, but still me. And I remembered he knew it all. My family.... Oh god.... I curled up as best as I could by myself and started to cry again._

_**'Til my body is dust'Til my soul is no moreI will love youLove you'Til the sun starts to cryAnd the moon turns to rustI will love youLove youBut I need to knowWill you stay for all timeForever and a dayThen I'll give my heart'Til the end of all timeForever and a dayAnd I need to knowWill you stay for all timeForever and a dayThen I'll give my heart'Til the end of all timeForever and a day'Til the stars fill my eyesAnd we touch the last timeI will love youLove youI will love youLove you **_

**_*shakes head* damn word!!!! Anyways, whatcha think? Review if you like it. Kassia seems to be loosing herself. Maybe she'll come back or maybe she won't? ;)_**


	8. Chapter 7

Thanks to everyone who read and support this story. Special thanks to Crystal (Sexysadie)! The ending of the movie is in the next chapter. Kassia has plans of her own and her drama truly starts next chapter. Goes even deeper mwhahaha. Hope you don't hate me for the evil ending bahahaha. The dark Billy lives on. :)

_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE SONG/LYRICS USED IN THIS CHAPTER. THEY BELONG SOLEY TO LISA HALL. THE SONG : IS THIS REAL? BY LISA HALL. NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED!_

_Chapter 7: Icy Dreams& The Reigning of Billy Darley's Lament!_

_My heartbeat was thumping harshly. A little while had gone by since Billy had gotten a hold of me. Completely! This past week my dreams had changed drastically. I was that simple teenager who wanted so badly to turn eighteen and escape. Two hours ago I could have and would have. Packed my fucking bags right up and left in the night, leaving only Mom and Luke a letter. But I was here, tied to this bed of Billy Darley. My entire lower body was screaming on it's own with pain. Daylight would be coming soon and I hadn't seen that ass hole since he left me, uncovered. I couldn't control the dreams that were happening to me and I hated it. Like I had hated every other thing in my life._

_**Twisted this feeling walked out of shape So tired of revealing the moves that I make**_

_I cried for Luke, Mom and even Dad, but not physically. It was on the inside. Everything that held my outside wasn't mine anymore. I couldn't show anything. It kept pushing it's way through all of the blood, sweat and tears. But nothing still.... I was lost and truly appreciative of not being able to feel. It finally happened. My grip on reality was still there, rearing at me, but me. I was gone and buried. I let Darley make me a toy, and I didn't fight it. I wanted this all to end right now. If I could get loose. _

_Maybe if I turned inside out then I could grab his attention... _

_**No! Stop what you're doing. Don't turn into this. You're better than that!**_

_But I wasn't. It's what I told the old me. Life was turned upside down and I needed to be exactly what Darley wanted. A toy. _

_The dream came to me as my eyes slithered closed. The jerking on the restraints over for the hour. I was physically fighting as me and emotionally I was someone else. Time to switch those around. ..._

_**So tired of revealing the moves that I make**_

**A darkened hallway with a smoke cloud of red pushed it's way through the door. I could smell the trademark of Billy Darley. Leather some far off scent of blue rush and musk. I took it inside of my nostrils and tasted it through my mouth. I let it engulf itself into my pours. My deep nails brushed down the narrow hallway. I ignored the sound of buzzing and whipping air around me. I could hear the rough sound coming from a different smoky area. The black silk clung to my stomach like leather to a steering wheel. **

**I moved slowly. And when I stopped at a wooden table a cigarette left burning in the tray next to a red glass filled candle. I picked the smoke up and placed it between my lips. I removed it from my lips when someone came up behind me and wrapped their hands tightly around my waist. " I just can't kill you Hume." The husky breath was hot on my ear. **

_And I know, yes I know, but is this real? And I know, yes I know, but is this real?_

**The way his hold was tight on my waist, his nails digging into the silk. Letting his knuckles rub against me. It wasn't in any way affection. It was a dark stranger of course, Billy Darley. If something came loose inside of me and I tried to turn myself upside down then maybe I could salvage something, anything of what was left of my life. I had no interest in making Darley a permanent lover, no!**

**He pulled something silk from his back pocket and placed it over my neck first pulling back to make sure I knew it was tight. "Don't you dare fucking scream." His voice in a whisper and so cold I shivered against him. His rough hands rubbed against my wrist and up to my elbows. He traced the silk up my neck and around my lips before placing a hand over my mouth and folding the silk over my eyes.**

_**Feeling inconstant could drive me insaneFlesh to blood to bone to loveTwisted...**_

**His jeans moved swiftly against my bare legs. Every touch he made had my skin like fire. We stopped my eyes covered by that simple, yet so deep thickly veil. "Keep moving Kass." The vile cruel, power hungry alpha surfaced all over his tongue. You could feel the heat from his mouth as well as the era that was rolling off of him within the cigarette smoke clouds. **

**I leaned my head back and let myself go deeper down under. We stopped and the air around us did as well. I felt as if he could throw me off balance any minute. Into a black hole and darkness so deep, even the tiniest bit of light would flame all around and crush everything and everyone who tried to stop it with a brutal force. I felt the spinning inside of my head like mass clockwork.**

_**And I know, yes I know, but is this real? And I know, yes I know, but is this real? Is this real?**_

**The blind was removed slowly and my mouth suddenly filled like cherries were rolling through it. The taste of Darley's tongue. Frenzy that repulsed me to the core of myself, but I wasn't going to stop him anymore. I was going to make him my bitch. He'd get confused beyond self-control, loose his grip on which he thought he could control, make his reality crumble. **

**His hand ran over my breast and I resisted the urge to shock the animal down. I let my hands roll to the back of him and pulled him by the belt loops further into my backside and bottom. He growled and jerked me back against him with force. The hardness already surfacing. "Don't be so sure who opens the floodgates," He growled. "Your not even looking at the wonderful fucking gift I tethered together for you. What a fucking shame that is bitch."**

**When I looked forward it was my family on the dirty old floor of the bar. My eyes widened and I jerked, but he wouldn't let me move. "Look at them. They can see now. Everything I do. To you. The way I touch you, the way you arch into me. How you belong to me. What they kept over their precious jewel is gone now. Crunch the diamond and your left with a dirty filthy fucking piece of cold ice." He brushed a strand of my dark hair and whispered just against my earlobe. "My dirty whore."**

**The tears blended with the cherry. I could feel the black on my face. I was changing standing here with his torment. Staring at my mother frozen in time with her favorite cream robe and nightwear on. Crimson running in a single puddle pooled around her heart. Luke next to her in his green pajamas. The stain of red almost purple, dark rolling down the right side of his skull. And my Dad. Blue shirt open tired face closed. Arms bent almost reaching for my mother. Tiny speck of crimson on his white undershirt. **

_**Twisted this feelingFlesh, blood, bone, loveTwistedTwisted this feeling**_

"**You see what happens when you cross over enemy lines. My end if the sewer. I'll fucking bleed you dry." His voice darkly spoke to me, like a slither almost. "There's always more blood I can keep taking from you. I told him no more fuckin' warnings and I'll tell you. I can connect with your insides...." He let his breath linger on my ear.**

"**Hold your breath Billy." I snapped in the same whisper. **

**It was like he bent his body around me and in the instance his hands were up the sides of my jeans. " Look what I've made you." His tone condescending powerful, breathless, full of satisfaction. **

"**It's me who takes control of judgment day. I say who lives and I say who dies." **

"**I can kill you all on my own." I slithered to him.**

"**Maybe we'll ask your body what movements it wants to make. You'd never kill me. Not even when your insides clench around me. "**

_**And I know, yes I know, but is this real? And I know, yes I know, but is this real**_**? **

**My family lay still. I felt as though a shadow someone was watching me. This wasn't over yet..... And then a force pushed me into a thick veil of sweat and pumping. Moans and cries, begs and digs. I felt him on me, felt myself dig my nails into the thick warm skin of his back, sinking right through the black of the swirls that marked him. My leg moving up between us and caressing his sides, his thighs and him. The arching into one another and the vile that mixed with tightening in my stomach. Whether I was going to hurl the vile contents or come with the warmth hitting my body, I didn't know. **

**But My Dad's voice came in somewhere into all the mix. **_**"Ready?" **_

"**What?" I spoke breathless into the air. "Dad?" I called out hopeful. **

"**Are you ready Kass?" The clicking of the gun sounded off. Why did I know the sound of a gun cocking? **

**The pain shot sharply throughout my stomach with an animalistic thrust from Billy. **

_**Flesh to blood to bone my loveTwistedTwistedIs this real?**_

"**Stop." I screamed throughout the movement. "Let me go Darley." But my body was pushing him closer. Was I ready to switch myself? Emotion for physical? My body represented me. "No! No!"**

**~*------------------------------------------------~***

(Billy's P.O.V.)

*-------------------*

Simple all so simple. My revenge was done, but all the fucking traces of that bastard remained. Her body responded the way I wanted it to, yet I wasn't satisfied enough. She wasn't breaking like I wanted the bitch to. Everything is finally over and all is left is that ass-holes spawn. Joe would never be back to see the prize I'd snatched up. Maybe bleeding her over his grave would feast him? Killing her would mean everything is finished. Part of me wants to put it behind me and the rest of me wants to keep going and clear out everyone and every-fucking- thing that had to do with the name Hume. Even if they're not a Hume.

Nothing in their house worth taking. Petty shitty act if you ask me. I don't fucking steel I take what belongs to me and nothing they hold in that shit hole belongs to me. Except for the whore back on my bed. If Bodie can keep his brother held off for long enough than I can finish her off. Keeping her around would be risky. Fucking risky, dangerous. Make Wallis crawl like a hungry whore from the worm eaten streets of Rockside.

Bones is another fucking problem all on his own. Pulling out the simple white dollar bill and rolling up the white substance and inhaling it made everything dim for a little while. But it didn't help, no drug fucking did. I don't believe in heaven and I don't believe in hell. Especially when I'm living it here on earth. And if heaven existed then why would all this shit happen. Holes in the world, simply fucking holes... Last rounds after making sure that fuck was secured at the hospital proved fine. Pent up and pissed, the bitch could help me with that.

*************

(End of Billy's P.O.V.)

*------------------------*

I awoke with a shattering start. The door was pulled open and heavy footsteps echoed quickly. "No let me in there."

"No stay the fuck out of there Rowan!"

Rowan? Bodie's brother Rowan. Maybe this time all along he could get what he wanted. I jerked on the ropes trying for something to cover myself up. He knew me all to well and I was hoping to have change and prove him wrong. The door flew open and hit the wall. I'm surprised it didn't crack it. No more than it already was.

He stood wide-eyed and his eyes moved all over me. The tape pulled over my mouth in a fresh form of a x. I felt branded with a scarlet letter, only covering my entire body. "Kassia. Oh my god. Bodie help me." He shouted as he stomped fast paced over to me a hand shot out and grabbed his shoulder jerking him back and slamming him. "You fucking can't Rowan. Don't you think I've tried? This is for fucking Joe man." His eyes pleaded.

"You promised to have this shit kept away. You fucking lied. You treat them ass-holes better than you do your own brother. Who's been through the same shit as you?" He yelled, taking a step towards me as I huddled my knees tightly together. "Look what he fucking did to her." He pointed. Bodie jerked him up by his tank top shoulders and slammed him into the wall. "Rowan I told you to calm the fuck down he hasn't killed her yet. And I'm still your fucking big brother."

"The hell if you are," Rowan fought back." Mama got shit faced and you were off doin' the same god damned thing while I was by myself. And she held me together. We held each other together and I won't let Billy take that! Kass I swear I didn't fucking know until I saw Brendan in the paper. I'll get you out of this." The door slammed even louder this time.

Bodie's eyes widened. The chocolate inside of them pulling to the surface by shear tension. "Rowan." He warned.

Rowan turned in the doorway as Billy busted through it. My heart leapt up. He was going to kill someone else right before my eyes. I couldn't take anymore red even if it was someone if his own. I moved and jerked. Billy's eyes were cold. He threw the jacket off with force and moved his arms beneath the black shirt widely. His head had pulsed harshly. The veins in his neck rearing out. He wiped his nose before looking darkly to Bodie.

"Billy please man. He wouldn't stop you know she's his fr-"

He started letting harsh sounds roll off his tongue. "I fuckin' told ya didn't I Bodie? A liability that you signed on for when you pledged to be my god damned brother! This little bitch here didn't now did he? And he's gonna try and fuckin' save someone whose Daddy took out someone on my fuckin' side who was brave enough to be a man!"

Bodie raised his hands and started pulling Rowan back. Rowan glared at Billy and spat at his feet. "Fuck you Billy. If Joe weren't so stupid maybe this shit would've never happened." My eyes widened along with Bodie's and Bodie stepped out as Billy's fist made a loud cracking connect with Bodie's jaw instead. Bodie stumbled back and hit the floor immediately, throwing himself back up as Billy swung and cracked Rowan in the side of the face. Billy swung again and Bodie caught his arm. "Man please don't." He begged. I jerked wildly.

"Fucker!" Rowan shouted making a run at Billy. Billy grabbed him and easily threw him into the counter diving for him at the time Bodie grabbed onto Billy's back. "Don't Billy please man!" He shouted now, his voice frenzied. The hallway and kitchen clearly visible.

Billy pulled his knee up and double chucked it back at Bodie making him howl and fall to the ground grabbing his knee. Billy threw his arm back and his fist connected three multiple times into Rowan's face. "Stay out of this shit." Bodie screamed.

Billy threw him to the ground and Bodie jumped up at one last attempt to save his brother. Billy reached behind him and I screamed into the tape jerking like mad. It sounded muffled and violent. Billy pointed the pistol to the ground and Bodie jumped to his brother this time. He leveled it with Rowan and it sounded off. I screamed out into the air as Bodie hit his knees. The fell silent smoking and Billy's blue eyes sparkled with rage as he charged towards me and came in slamming the door behind him.

----------------------

So.... I hope ya'll liked it. R&R if ya did. :) xx-Kris.


	9. Chapter 8

So, I am posting the last few chapters. Here is chapter 8 everyone. Hope U like it. R&R if so. ;-) XX-Kris.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT!**

**Chapter 8: Consciences and Threats!**

_My screams echoed off the door as Billy slammed it. I didn't have time to even make sure of what happened to Rowan. I only saw the daylight flutter into the curtains. I sobbed quietly through the tape. I wasn't too sure of my plan anymore, after this. I didn't hate Rowan enough to want him dead and seeing Billy. Kill someone who should mean as close as something can for whatever the hell he was. Bodie's voice, I'd recognized it now. "Brother, Rowan? You all right man. Oh fuck! I told you to listen." It wasn't as frantic for anything too serious. I'd grown accustomed to the sounds of dying people these past few days. He approached me savagely and ripped the tape from my lips. I choked on the cool air that swished in. My dry and sore lips appreciated the air. I didn't scream because I'd suspected that's what he wanted. _

_Billy stayed with his back to me and his hands on the simple beaten down dresser. His chest heaved in and out. I looked at him curious now more than afraid. There's nothing more he could do to me other than kill me. His eyes were the most luring thing about him. So dark and blue. You could feel the flames and tension rise every time those eyes opened. God forbid they are on you! They were dark and wide now, changing back with his brows. I turned my head to the side. For Lukers and Mom... This one is for them._

"You know something Billy, is it? I saw your brother Joe at the courtroom three days ago. Pretty beat up fucker if you ask me. Didn't think old Daddy had it in him. But that's what you do right? Drive people to their max; push them until they're just as miserable as you or dead like your stupid fucking brother is! Maybe all the shit you unloaded onto him." My tone low enough, spiteful and cruel radiating off of my tongue. I wasn't bringing Rowan in this now. Not when I had the chance to rile Billy Darley. I looked lowly to him, my gaze piercing his as his eyes got wider. His hands were clenching onto his belt so hard I almost thought I could hear the leather itself tearing apart. "You and me we've got nothing more to live for. Isn't that right?"

His lips curled into one another and black surfaced around his pupils. Darkening that violent ocean swarming the inside. _Come on Kass you've got it in ya I know you do. Think of those times in school when you and Rowan would end up in isolation for weeks at time if not months. Rattle this bastard's cage._ "Joe a touchy subject for you. Am I correct? Tell me..." I stopped myself just as he leaned his head back, sniffing. _You have to do this. I know it hurts, but it's for him remember. Your brother. Your touchy subject. _

I listened to my conscience's pleas. I almost felt myself sigh relief with it. The funny thing about a conscience is that it feels as if there is always someone else with you. Speaking for you. Waiting inside of you and watching as you grow up and finally become one with it. But when you have that internal voice no matter who you are, then that means you have the ability to think for yourself and grow. It also makes things hard. Your heart, your body and desires are fighting with you. Your brain on what to do. A conscience is you. One of the many parts of you. And sometimes you can bury that voice so deep beneath your muscles, the desire. Let the desire clench around your internal voice. Squeeze the life out of it. Desire to have revenge. Power, or someone.

Looking at Billy Darley my body was telling me one red and heated thing. My brain was being obliterated inside of my skull that was pounding. My voice was inside the middle of me. Smirking on the inside I continued my rampage to rattle his metal cages. "Bastard. Your parents ever call you that? Joe and you ever fight? How hard was it to gain such a gang only to have it all snatched from you like the bridges you've burned in your miserable fucking life-" I was cut off sharply as his hand connected with my face? I smirked darkly. "Oh come on Billy you can do better than that, can't you? I like to feel the pain and blood. Worthless piece of shit. Can't even hit a woman right-" Again I was cut off, but my head flew around the room with my vision as my face hit the pillow? The already aching pain and blood swirled inside of my mouth. I placed my tongue on my tooth to make sure it was still intact this time.

He'd hurt me before, but I couldn't let him know that. His hands ripped the sheet away from between my legs and instantly my smirk fell and conscience felt a wave approaching it. _No. No. Stay with me Kassia. Don't do this please. _He slapped me once more before doubling his fist and throwing it into my stomach. My entire body arched up off of the bed and I yanked at my restraints wildly trying to grasp onto my stomach. I gasped for air and wheezed out when I felt a painful flush sweep in. He jerked me up close to his face, his hot breath on my ear. "You're the one without any family Kassia. At least my brother loved me. Which is more than I can say for you. I'm glad you didn't kill yourself before I got the chance to have rounds with you. Such a beautiful piece of skin."

His fingers traced across my bare breast and I jerked up again whimpering as my stomach pulled. "Arching up already?" He stood up and unzipped his pants. Setting on the side of the bed he ran his hand up and along my bare leg to my thigh. He retracted his back lightly across my thigh before separating my legs. The muscles fought against him. He pushed my legs open and moved his hand up my right thigh. He retracted his fingers away like something hadn't been right. "Fuck. Damn, I didn't think you'd bleed a fucking field Kassia" He shook his head looking at his blood-covered fingers. The tone was completely spiteful and sarcastic. "It's a good thing it stopped because I'm not done with you yet." He pushed his pants down and I turned my head.

"See I've got a fucking problem. I'm not liken' what Rowan said to me." His face dark as his hand rubbed my cheek. "Don't you dare." I cried.

"I didn't knock the little fuck. He needed a good one on one with the silver bullet anyhow. He'll just be hopping around like a fuckin' jack rabbit until I decide when it's time to put him down. Or..." He trailed off. Tears were building quickly behind my eyes, but I fought them off. "Or I can give the choice to you. You see," He spoke lowly climbing just to the edge of my locked knees. " He's your fuckin' friend and Bodie's brother. He could be of use someday. In my fucking view you have one choice bitch. You can either keep giving me trouble or thinking that just because you went to some million-dollar baby fuck up school that you can outwit me?" He shook his head. " You see when you're in my end of this fucking sewer, just like I told your Daddy, I say who lives and I say who dies. But you're smarter than Nick aren't you? Looker like your mother. To bad about her. I don't think she could have taken me though." I jerked wildly.

" Joe looked at you like you were the golden ticket. If there's one thing else that I can give him it was you. You belong to me. Even when you're dead. Because I'm you're fucking life and death!" His breath hot against my face now. "Now as I was sayin' Rowan is a fuckin' problem. I mean look at how he treated ya. Betrayal and disloyalty is far worse than death. How about that bitch?" I sucked in sharp gust of air with my tears.

_No! Don't let him turn this around on you. You had this keep it going Kassia!_

He jerked my chin roughly to his face directly. "If you keep givin' me trouble well then I'm just gonna have to plant a silver bullet right in that motherfucker's head. Or one for the heart. Whatcha think, both? Unless you make the gutter's run more smoothly. Ya fuckin' get it?" He growled.

_Not Rowan. He didn't know. How the hell does Billy know? I can't do this. I can't let this happen!_

_He's coaxing you, Kassia don't! Don't!_

_I have too... I have too.... _

I closed my eyes as the tears fell from underneath the lashes and slowly I let my knees open. My hands fell silent as he whispered into my ear. "You can come for me this time."

I felt him slide into me and I closed my eyes and let it all float away from me. Everything. My last tries of salvation for myself and for my family. Gone. And now I had to be. The tables were slashed in half and silent. Billy Darley had me now and there was nothing I could do, but let my body falter against his.

_Please..... Don't do this. You're better than this. _

_Not anymore. Gone. You're gone. _

_Kassia! _I closed off as the chill hit my body and I arched up to his strong forward thrust. I moaned into it and held onto the metal post so bad the imprint of it was starting to stick within my skin and make it red. Billy growled and sped up faster. I crossed my tired legs around him and pushed him inside more. The conscience wearing thin as he tore through it and captivated it. With himself and his manhood. I felt the friction built up and my desire tore off through my veins. Burning like fire as his hands dug into my wrist. He pulled my thigh apart wider and grinded harder up against me before lifting upwards. I felt someone who was not me. She was sinking father and farther in as his smirk and dark eyes held power and proud of making me humiliated and festered out.

He lifted himself and his muscles stretched as he leaned farther back. The tears were my emotion surfacing as he let my hand binds go and grinned darkly lying back. Did he just?

"I wouldn't baby. You won't even make it that far. Up and move." I lay with wide eyes on my knees in the middle of the bed. "I-" he jerked my by my arms up and onto him. "Straddle me." He demanded. His fingers made the shape of a gun form. I gritted my teeth and set up on him. I wasn't quite sure how to do this. "Just slide down it." He growled satisfaction in his tone. I lifted myself up and moved myself over him. I bit my lip as I impaled myself onto him. I shut my eyes tightly and fought back the physical tears as I was being torn beyond my new limits. "Fuck." I cried.

"Hurt?"

"Shut your mouth!" I snapped without much breath able to the sentence. He leaned his head back before pressing his hands into my thighs. "Fuck this." I growled and thrust down into him as hard as I could. Maybe it'll hurt the fucker? His husky voice let a low rumble come from his throat and roll out. It made me buck against him. I gasped. "God damn..."

"Well look at that Hume. You can take me all the way." He grabbed hands and attached them to his warm chest. He pressed his hips up, warming me not to test him. I started to rock back and forth, gently at first. The feeling of fullness and pain were tearing through my lower body. I clawed his chest and threw my head back. Letting the adrenaline and friction take me over. All the while fighting the tears back and keeping Rowan stored in the back of my mind. My hips pumped themselves up and down with his jerking below me. He pulled up fast and shoved me against him. His heartbeat strong and rough. Those dark eyes locked on me and his forehead went against mine. His goatee rough. The muscles in his neck flared out as he thrust deeper, his hands on my back. My breast against his chest. The sweat forming. I felt the fire burn through my muscles and he grinned darkly.

"Well, I think we both feel that." He jerked up into me. I threw my head back and his tongue brushed right below the hollow line to my chin. To the base of my throat. "I can make you ride this out. Give ya a choice when you wanna explode." He slowed the thrust until he knew my body was begging, whimpering for him to keep going.

My hands dug into his shoulders as the blood, sweat and tears rolled through. My core was heated and pulsing far to dangerously. His dark eyes connected with me and he slithered himself around the wet slippery friction below us. "Fuck." I whimpered.

"I-I." Moaned out loosing my breath as my eyes shut.

"Keep them open." And about that time he lifted his strong form up onto his knees on the bed taking me with him. I circled my feet around his waist and locked them together. His hands pulled me roughly against him and we both let out short, but deep growls. He hauled me up and off the bed and the air swished against my back as he slammed me into the wall.

The more I tried to fight the more I thought about Rowan and what Billy had done to him already. Who else would scarred? Billy knew this as he pulled my thighs over his strong wrist and hoisted me up the cracked wall higher. My hands went for his shoulders to dig in and cause him the same amount of physical pain I was being caused, that not being near possible right now, but maybe a little pain. His hands dropped my thighs and I had to keep them locked around his waist so I didn't fall to the floor. My legs already a puddle of jello and the muscle spas med out of control.

He pinned my hands above my head darkly and I fought with his hands hitting what was next to me. Something, which appeared to be glass as it, broke with a loud sound and Billy grinned into my lips as he cleared the side of this table with his hand and threw me down onto it. Catching my head with his hand. "Can't have you passing out. That would just take all of the fun away." And he pulled himself from me and traveled downward. Goosebumps shot up all over my body as his hot breath hit each part of my legs. He pushed them open and stood up straight, his form tall. He slammed forward making my back arch off the hard wooden stand I was perched on. "Fuck god..." I whimpered out.

"You got somethin' to say Hume?" And by that I knew what he wanted and my desire knew it to. I used the last remains of strength left in my legs to pull him forward and secure myself tightly against him. "Harder!"

"Harder?" His voice smirking now. "Did you say harder my little orphan?" My blood boiled and I jerked against him harshly pulling him forward.

He moved against me again. The tightening became a fizzle now and the burning soared downward. I felt him now and I bit my lip as the pain came. "That's it," His voice dark again. He sped up even more and the burning became a fire like torture. "You like it faster don't you?"

"Shut the fuck up-" I was caught off guard as the whimper came from my throat and the spasm made me arch up off the table; my hands dug into the wood. He growled and that is when everything started to spin including my head. Everything went numb and dark, the last thing I could feel was Billy pumping against me on final time and the heat was left to air the room itself. He put me back on the bed and let the restraints go for now.

His voice came back into my ear. "I'll be back soon bitch. There's a shower in the door to you're right. Clean yourself up and feel free to use the razor anyway you'd fuckin' like. But know I can make and cut clean. So trying to kill yourself won't help." He laughed darkly and I heard the door slam. My internal voice was screaming at me and fighting with my desire and body for giving in so easily. _It doesn't matter if it's Rowan Kassia. _

"Shut up." I screamed out into the room. This wasn't over and it wouldn't be for a long time.

Rate if ya liked it hehhe. :) XX-Kris.


	10. Chapter 9 Pt 1

**So I wanna thank Crystal (sexysadie) for her reviews once more of the last two chapters. I DO NOT OWN THE LYRICS IN THIS CHAPTER. THEY BELONG SOLEY TO THE ARTIST SARAH MCLACHLAN. SONG: FEAR. NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED.!!!! Oh yes and enjoy the rat I made in this story. He had a small role in the film and he wasn't crooked, but I made him crooked *evil laugh* enjoy!!!**

**Chapter 9: He Says You're Sentence Pt. 1**

***(Nick's P.O.V.)***

"_**I killed them. I killed my family. " **_

"_**Well, your son is still alive. " Wallis spoke giving me a sigh. **_

_**My son. Luke. Luke is alive. How can he be when that fucker... My boy. I need him; I need to see him.**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**Barely." She spoke again.**_

"_**Where is he? Is here? Where is he?" A jolt of hope filled me again. The monitors started to frantically beep and I ripped the oxygen from my nose. It was painful to get up, but I didn't care now. All that mattered was that my son was alive. **_

_**Wallis's hand shot out. "Whoa, whoa. Hey come on, wait a second now." I jerked my arm from her grasp and pushed myself up. "Luke. Luke." I was frantic, if I didn't see him soon enough then it wouldn't feel like he was all I had. The monitors had no mind as I pushed my way past the cop. "It's all right." Wallis interjected. "Lucas. Lucas," I ran head on into a nurse. "Where's my son?" She grabbed a hold of my arm. "You need to get back to bed!" I jerked her hard. "Tell me where my son is!"**_

_**Her eyes softened. "He's in room 206." It didn't take me anytime he just down the hall from my reach. "Lukey. Luke." Voices and footsteps echoed behind me, but I didn't care what they said. "We're taking good care of your son." **_

"_**Doctor it's ok, just let him see him." Wallis's voice somewhere far off. I pushed myself into the doorway. My boy lay in the white bed, draped in a white blanket with bruises making him dark. He didn't look like Luke. And it was my fault. "Is he gonna wake up?" I spoke out. Like it echoed off the walls, not really expecting a valid answer. The one I was hoping for, needing to hear anyway.**_

"_**I can't say right now."**_

_**Then what the hell could you say? If hospitals can't fix people... Things aren't simple. **_

"_**It was never gonna balance." I spoke up.**_

_**Wallis clicked her tongue before speaking. "What did you say?"**_

"_**The equation. Sometimes it's just," I paused. "Chaos. It's all there is. I'd like a minute with him." Her silence wasn't golden. She hadn't done her job as a cop to anyone, and I hadn't done my job as a father. I turned, pleading with her. Pleading was all I had left in me as of this moment, but it wasn't the only thing circulating. She was right, I was dangerous, even to myself.**_

_**She sighed and clicked her tongue before moving forward and speaking. "I'll be outside." With that said she closed the door. The silence hit, and was painful. I placed myself in the chair and stared at what was left of my fourteen-year old. Just a kid. How could I have let this happen? I made it worse. "Hey Lukey can you hear me," I grabbed his hand. Cold and still. "Son just move your fingers if you can hear me." His hand was still. He wouldn't speak even if he could, not to me. Not after what I'd done. **_

"_**Luke I know that you didn't think I'd cared about you as much as your brother. You or Kass." I struggled with my words, but needed to say them one last time. "And good uh maybe I didn't at first." I choked on my own words. "You know uh when your mom and I first had Brendan he was just, he was so amazing to me. He was like uh, he was like this miracle kid. I didn't know exactly what to expect with him. Even though Kass came about year before him, your mom she took to her so well. Our first baby together, our first daughter. And I was confused as to what to do with a little girl, at first ya know? She was so vibrant and so beautiful. So tiny and pink. She didn't like to do certain things other babies did and I just thought she was unusual and then.. You came along. And I don't know I uh kind of expected to have another Brendan, you were my second son. I expected you to be like him, but, but you weren't. You were so different. Different than him and different than me. You were just so much more like your mom and your sister. Stubborn and.. Kass she looked just like her. Hair always down. Our first child.'**_

_**It hit me. Helen wasn't here holding my hand, or being forgiving. I'd killed the person I had started this family with. We weren't perfect and I couldn't see that we weren't fine. **_

"_**To much passion. Your mother oh she meant the world to me. And so do you. I just want you to know that I love you. I love you so much and I love your brother. I love your mother. And I love your sister. I love our family." I choked on my words as my throat burned. That family was gone now. I had to fight for it, make sure it would stay alive for good. And no matter where that bastard put Kassia I would take him down. "I am so sorry that I wasn't a better father. I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you guys." He lay unmoving giving me one final surge of voice. I picked myself up and off the chair and leaned over him. I placed a kiss on his cold and battered forehead. I wasn't going back. The emotions came one last time over me and I had to wash them down. I strayed over his head a moment longer, avoiding the massive stitches. I sucked the emotional tidal wave and straightened my face. This was it. I stood up straight and already knew as I headed straight for that bathroom window. I had nothing left and nothing or anyone was going to stop me! I was going to finish this off!**_

_**~****************~**_

_**(Kassia)**_

_I remained unmoving. The warmth running between my legs vigorously took notice early on as Billy left the room. Deciding against the cleanliness of this hellhole I got up and stumbled with the pain. I held my stomach and that's when the fact of having to pee really hit me. That bastard let me go this long without it. Luckily when I pushed the door open everything looked sanitary. Can't have Billy Darley running around with a sexually transmitted disease or god forbid some kind of rusty disease on his tools. _

_I held onto my stomach and the queasy feeling hit me with force. I fumbled frantically with my raw hand over my mouth and finally my fingers were rewarded with a light switch. The toilet lid already left up I threw my head into it and the nausea poured from me. "Oh god." I whimpered between breathless pants. Everything that happened I couldn't deny or hide it. Billy didn't think I was strong enough to fight him off or kill myself. Maybe if I proved him wrong? _

_**What has happened to you? Look what you're letting this man do to you.**_

**He's not a man he's a monster. So am I. **

_**You can't protect everyone Kassia. Why don't you start protecting yourself. **_

**There's nothing left of me. Everything is gone. If I had told someone.**

_**Kassia. It warned me. I warned myself. Fuck you. **_

_Darley was smart because on the sink lay something that caught my eye. A fresh razor. I picked it up after wiping my mouth as the silent tears slipped down my face. The blade's shimmer danced off the light. Not my usual, but I'd take it. Time was loosing grip now and though I knew it was the next day I didn't know how much time within the day had passed. The roars of thunder outside and the beating of the rain against the dim windows came from the outside. I knew Billy would have ways around every escape. By now I knew he left nothing easy. He'd given me a route, and I wanted to cause him trouble. I pushed the blade to my skin, skimming the surface. _

_I hadn't noticed the slam of a door. The blade touched just the skin was inflamed and I pressed down. Harder and deeper. And just a little harder as a sprout of blood surfaced. This outta slow that fucker down some. The deeper it got against my wrist. I've never cut here before.. It feels and just as I started to drag it the door flew open and dark hands shot out and grabbed me by my naked waist. I struggled against them. _

"_No get the hell off of me! Stop it let me go Bodie!" Had Billy sent him back ahead of time thinking I was a waste? Knowing all to well what I'd do. "Kassia don't you fucking do this!" Rowan the voice was his.... My heart leapt into my throat, but what right did he think he had? "Get off of me!" I jerked even harder. "Get off you ass hole. You lied to me why didn't you tell me? That motherfucker killed my brother. You sat there the entire time on his side. And you're related to these fuckers. They killed my parents and Luke. My baby brother. Are you happy? Are you?" I shouted as loud as my lungs would let me. I hadn't even cared that I was bare for Rowan to see. Someone had already violated all I had left to me, what mattered who saw the torn shreds of it?_

_He was moving, hobbling trying not to touch my bare body in the way he knew Billy had even by accident. "Kassia please calm down baby girl please!" He pleaded with me. He yanked the quilt hanging to the right of the bed and threw it around me. I tried to shrug it off. "You wanna fuck me now Rowan? Come on," Haven't you heard I'm the newest little orphan made bitch/ whore." He fought to keep a hold of me. I noticed the long wide bandage strapped up his leg, attached to a blue brace type thing. I had the urge to kick it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. _

"_Kassia!" He yelled again. "Stop it. I won't let you hurt yourself because of what this fucker did. I know you've lost your family, but your not loosing yourself. You hear me your not gonna and I won't let you." He shook me now and wrapped the quilt further around me. "I'm so sorry I couldn't help you. Bodie promised me they'd stay off. But then your pops went after Joe and I... Kass you gotta understand they're my family. They aren't like you. Someone stepped onto our turf and they had to protect it. I can't go against my brother. But if I knew what Billy had planned I would have. But he fucking loved Joe so much and you have to know how bad it hurt. Imagine if your Mama left you with a man who beat you to death and forced you to raise your little brother in the only way you know how. Wanting the best for him, but not knowing anything other then where his heart is. What if someone took the only one you had..." He paused. "All of your life. All you ever knew. It was never anything personal until Nick came after Joe baby girl and I know it's hard to hear. This is why I never wanted you to know things in my life. We do what we gotta do."_

_He's right. Someone did take my one and only. My baby brother. It all clicked into motion and I knew why the two men went after each other. I was on the opposing end. My heart was still inside. I had my mother's understanding and forgiveness and I had Rowan to think about. I'd loved someone from this side and I was protecting them. It's hard to see past the red when it's all over your eyes.... One short day, not even after what had happened. Everything moves so fast. I shut my eyes and felt the scream bubbling up. Right in front of me was the reason for my living now. And he cared about Bodie and from the looks of it the entire family. You feel how jealous he seemed and I'd understood it._

_But if you feel all the jealously and someone in your family is threatened, hurt or killed. Then you realize just how much you did love them. And you'd take back any crappy thing just to have them back even if you went across the fucking country. I felt it all bubble to the surface and my legs from beneath me and Rowan caught them. I let out a high pitched scream for what seemed like seconds. I planted myself into Rowan's warm chest and let the tears racket my body. "There all gone. What the hell am I supposed to do. Luke. He just killed them. How can you all do it, how?" He rubbed my back._

"_I can't that's why Billy doesn't..." He trailed off. I lifted my face from his chest as the tears continued to fall. "You loved him didn't you? Joe?" I spoke simply as Rowan's eyes registered shock. "I. Kass next to you not knowing what my life was about. He was my best friend. He didn't like doing what the gang was all about, but he chose to put his heart and himself in it. He was good Kass he was. And so strong on his own terms. " Rowan leaned his head back. "If he hadn't.. I would have introduced you to him. He would've made you forget all the bad shit and appreciate the good. Joe was..." _

"_Billy can't stand it can he? That you knew Joe and he couldn't even grasp the real part of him?" I sniffed as a single tear rolled down. _

"_He can't and because I knew you. Shit is just so fucked up, but that's why I'm here. I have to make it right while I still can. I've gotta get you out of here." _

"_Whoa. Rowan." I yelped. _

_I can't leave how can he not know that Billy will hell raise until he finds us both. _

"_It's not that easy. Look what he did to you-" He cut me off._

"_I can take care of myself. Simple bullet wound to the fucking knee is nothing. Look he's off doin rounds and I have my car we can still go. If I have to throw your ass over my shoulder and hobble the fuck out of here than I will." He snapped. _

_If we can go now than maybe.... No one will ever know. We've gotta try. I felt my protective form sink back in. _

**Morning smiles like the face of a newborn child innocent, unknowing Winter's end promises of a long lost friend speaks to me of comfort **

"_Ok." I cried. "But how? Where's your brother?" _

"_Don't worry he doesn't know nothin yet, but we gotta move fast before he does. I'll take you back to your place to get cleaned up. If you want-"_

_I cut him off. "No. I want to go back there. I need to." _

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

_**(Nick)**_

_**Shuffling home and putting on my clothes wasn't an easy task. The smell and pieces of everything lay around me as I gathered what I'd need. I'd get the rest done when I got what I needed. I flipped the card over without looking at the marked out front. "Hey Owen I need you to check a number for me. Yeah. 555-0128. I didn't need to hear his idiotic mumbling. Well check somewhere else just get it for me!" I knew what I needed next. The one thing that always tore someone apart and the one thing that I needed to tear them apart with. So the bank was my stop.**_

_**But I fear I have nothing to give I have so much to lose here in this lonely place Tangled up in your embrace there's there's nothing I'd like better than to fall **_

_**The woman there was friendly with a smile, not really noticing my face just beckoning the money at me with her hands. "Pullin out the kid's college funds?" I didn't smile back. Kass and sooner off Brendan would've needed half of that, but they'll get their money's worth..... The pain hadn't let up. I popped the pain pill and the water swished from my mouth as my phone rang. Just the fucker I needed to hear from. "Hello?"**_

"_**Hey Nick its Owen," His voice sounded off the other end. "Got that number on for ya. It's a bar. It's called the four roses. Nick what's going on? Do you need me to call anyone for ya?" Thanks Owen." I snapped. "Nick-"**_

_**I flipped the phone shut. All I needed now.**_

_***~*~*~*~*~*~*~***_

_**(Kassia)**_

_Some time had passed and I didn't even know how the hell Rowan and I managed to see the light of day or evening. Much time had passed and Rowan was able to drive his small black car. As we pulled up to my house about twenty-two minutes later I closed my eyes and leaned back into my seat. "Kass?"_

"_I'm fine. Could you- could you come inside with me. I don't think I can..."_

"_Of course." He rubbed my cheek and ignored as I flinched away on impulse. I saw his teeth bare. We'd hobbled together through the rain once again and when we opened the door I shut my eyes. The scattered mess not even 24 hours ago lay still the same. I looked into the living room as the white tape outlined the bodies and a strip of yellow next to Luke. Where I assumed they marked me. Rowan shook his head. Without another word I made my way through my room, grabbed some clothes and into the hot shower I went. I let it steam and let the ice of it numb me. I cried a lot, held my stomach. Just being here took my air from my lungs. I didn't want to come out of the darkness that was Billy's because I'd have to face the world, alone. An adult now with nothing, nothing but Rowan._

_Who was hurt downstairs already for me. I took some time sinking to the floor and letting my tears roll. I got out after scrubbing myself raw and the bruises that formed all over me and my newest healed over cut, still so fresh. I took my fist and slung it into the mirror before letting out a loud scream. I heard the sound of clobbering footsteps and Rowan flew inside the door. The bathroom door flew open from its creak. And Rowan grabbed my shoulders. I jerked back as he pulled me into him. "I know I fucking hated them, but Rowan I want them back so much. God I'd give anything..."_

"_Me too Kass. Me too." He stated rubbing my wet back. "Oh god." And this time my legs did give out and I fell to the floor with Rowan as his grit his teeth when his brace slid across the floor._

_**But I fear I have nothing to give Wind in time rapes the flower trembling on the vine and nothing yields to shelter From above they say temptation will destroy our love the never ending hunger **_

"_I can't go back now Rowan." I breathed into his chest. I ran my hand across his face and he closed his eyes with it. "You're all I have left and I'm going to keep you safe. I'm coming back with you." His eyes widened at that moment and I toughed myself up and slung the internal voice underneath the tidal wave approaching. We'd left and it was hard to pull me away, but dark was approaching and Rowan had some general idea. _

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_**(Bodie)**_

_**Th blow was simple. Rowan was still alive and in a way I wanted to thank Billy for sparing him and the other half wanted to put a bullet up inside his fucking head. **_

_**But I fear I have nothing to give**_

"_Rowan I fucking told you. This shit ain't no joke you understand?" I slung him carefully on the couch. I didn't think I'd been able to have picked myself up off my knees if Billy would've pointed that gun somewhere else. Hume's family wasn't the only one that was falling apart. But what could I do? He was my real brother and I didn't know how far things were gonna go. My insides were turning upside down. "Rowan." I sighed and as I turned around he was no longer on the couch. "Rowan?" I turned around again and ran my hand over my face in a sigh and I turned once more and his fist came into contact with my face. I fell to the floor as blood filled my mouth and blur came into my vision. "Rowan man. Don't I'm warning you-"_

"_I'm tired of these fucking warnings. You know I can't let her die and if Billy wants to do something well then he's just going to have to." Before I could lift up he threw a long metal bar across the back of me and all went black. _

_I lifted my head up and rubbed it as everything came back into view. Jumping up proved one step too many. I held onto my head. My phone rang and I stumbled over to it. "What the fuck are you doin calling me this late ass-hole?"_

"_I led him there. I did it. He asked me for the number Bodie."_

"_Wait, you fuckin' what? Tell me you didn't track that shit for him? Wait don't you fuck with me he can't be. Billy killed that fucker."_

"_Well he sounded alive and kicking to me. I led him straight to you. He didn't sound so good he even resisted back up. He's doin' pretty spiffy on his own."_

"_Isn't that what you-"_

"_No, no you motherfucker. That bastard didn't fuckin' die and you gave him the fucking way to the god damned bar? Did you call Billy?" My heart started thumping. Nick Hume wasn't dead. This shit wasn't good. Especially when we had his daughter bitch. "_

"_Look Bodie I thought you'd wanna know and if he didn't you can-"_

"_You bastard. If you just fucking set off a domino effect I am going to pop off your fucking head if Billy doesn't do it first. You stay put until I call you. You got that Owen?"_

"_Yeah, yeah Bodie I got it." His voice sounded panicked. "Now all I had to do was reach Billy before this fucker pulled another surprise out of his bag. It's time to end this. I dialed Billy's number as I held my head. Come on fuck. I dialed again and all I got was a busy tone. Until I heard a shot below. A gun shot. I threw the phone down, grabbed my gun and flew out the busted door down to Billy's place. I pushed the door open and ran straight to the back room. No one there. Oh god. No fuck no. I flew down the second flight and opened Heco's door. "Get the fuck up and." I stopped and turned my head as Heco was here. But his remains were plastered all over the wall. I cocked my gun. I need to make rounds to the office now!_

_(__**Billy)**_

"_**Fuckin' prick." I shouted as the ass hole rolled right away. He's lucky I gave his Charlie boy ass his sister's shit and not a headless motherfucker as a brother. The phone sounded off and I flipped it open. Hauling in a gust of the smoke. Fucker... "Heco you sanbaggin son of a bitch. This is second time this week that I had to cover for your ass "**_

"_**Billy, Billy." He yelped frantically. That mother fucker already out of drugs? **_

_**I got bigger fuckin' things to worry about. **_

"_**That fucker didn't die Billy. That fucker didn't die!" He was breathless. The smoke caught in my throat. Fucker. He didn't die? No fucking way! Heco's getting his fucking ass kicked! Last time I deal with his shit. "What the fuck are you talkin' about?" **_

"_**He says you're sentenced." Heco spat with panic. **_

_**Sentenced. Does the fucker know I got his daughter in my fucking bed at home? **_

"_**So what?"**_

_**His breathing got quicker. Fucking pansy ass. I heard a gruff voice speak. Fuck no.**_

"_**So this motherfucker!" And the shot rang off. I clipped my phone shut. Fuck! If he wants his fuckin' ass. I'm not near as done with him yet. A car rolled into the parkway. Just what I fucking need. "Well, what are we fuckin' up tonight son?" He grabbed the bag from my shoulders. Not you now you fat ass mother fucker! **_

"_**You look like your in a fuckin' hurry. " You couldn't smell any alcohol on his breath. The fucker didn't need it. But he'll need something if he doesn't get the fuck out of my way. The loud boom rang off in my ears. My veins popped and my head was pulsing. "You know how much I gotta wipe ya fuckin' nose. I gotta get some five hundred-fortune faggot off my back, by telling him he can have you. You think I enjoy that!" He screamed into my face the spit like acid. Keep fucking going just one more you bastard. "What you don't get is I care about what happens to you. because it can fucking hurt me!" I felt my fingers brush against the black of the pistol. And pulled it out, not needing a click. **_

"_**Now do you need any more fuckin' instructions-" The shot rang off perfectly into my ears. The blood was sprinkling out everywhere. He fell down with a fucking loud thud. It felt good. Now I was free and cleared of that fucker. One down one to go. Wiping the excess of my nose. Using his last resort. "No thanks Dad. I'm takin' the car."**_

_**But I fear I have nothing to give I have so much to lose I have nothing to give we have so much to lose **_

**_R&R if ya like. XX-Kris._**


	11. Chapter 9 Pt 2

**So this is the end of Seeing Red. For now... Hehehe I decided to make a sequel entitled: Hold Onto the Intensity**

**This story has been an emotional roller coaster for me and so much fun to write. I thank everyone who put it on their alert list. Everyone who reviewed. Thank you all for the support and when the sequel comes out I hope that you'll continue to support it. The sequel will include:**

***Lucas Hume's awakening and massive change.**

***Kassia's fate with the alpha Darley.**

***Billy Darley's chance of living or dying.**

***If Nick Hume survives.**

***If Rowan will choose to go after Nick himself now. (If he survives of course ;))**

***Owen's final plan set in motion.**

***If Kassia regains her freedom or not. Owen was the evil eye as you shall find out more on. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics in this chapter. They belong soley to Sarah Mclachlan. Song: Hold On (Alternate piano version) No copyright intended! Oh and I take no claim in the first few lines of the lyrics I used via Nick's POV. They belong to the band of Pilot Speed. No Copyright intended!**

**Chapter 9: He Says You're Sentence Pt. 2**

**Fear. Desperation. Passion. Vengeance. Sex. Lies. Video. Red light. Death. Life. Birth. Friendship. Brotherhood. Parents. Control. Power. Feelings. Interest. Hobbies. Danger. Sweet scents. Love. Lust. Murder. Innocence. Emotions. Alcohol. Breath. Taste. Touch. Smell. Hearing. Sins. Sinners. Heaven. Hell. Silence. Voice. Heat. Cool. Air. Water. Earth. Fire. Sun. Stars. The moon. Future. Hope. Tomorrow. Betrayal. Loyalty. Bonds. Body. Mind. Heart. Soul. You. Me. Fall. Winter. Spring. And summer. Family. Blood. Red midst.**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

_Those were just words. Yet they held so much meaning to the universe, to my world. To everyone I think? My heart was beating theatrically out of my chest. I couldn't hang on to the turning of my insides. It was all coming down now. I chose to go back and though Rowan had tried to prevent me from doing so, begging. He failed. I had to face this because it would never go away. I wasn't going out this way. Rowan still hadn't known why I wanted to go back. I'd given him it was for Luke and my family. He believed it. Only because he knew how I felt to some extent. _

_We both felt fucked up. His breathing was ragged. I'd imagined all of them had the same breathing problems with all of this. Constant messes and fears in life. From now on I'd feel it too. If every man was like the one who'd raped me. Who I could trust and who I couldn't. This feeling turning inside of my gut and numbing my legs made me feel that the betrayal was far from over. How could there be more when there wasn't anyone left?_

_I looked next to me at a distant and fearful eyed Rowan. What was his real last name? What else could he be hiding? But if he was betraying me than I was putting my life on the line for nothing. Yet there was still a visible purpose, but why couldn't I see? Over all of this red I suppose. My heart and even my head were telling me to protect Rowan. My conscience was trying also to protect myself. Something I wasn't as used to doing as I thought I would be. You never know how you are going to feel in a situation, which cost you everything. You can't even imagine. Nothing sweet or rebellious about it!_

_Billy Darley...._

_It's hard and cold. And as fascinatingly beautiful as he was I couldn't stop the fear from flowing through my veins. Or the hate! _

_**Hold on hold on to yourself**_

_**For this is gonna hurt like hell**_

_**Hold on hold on to yourself**_

_**You know only that time can tell**_

_**What is it in me that refuses to believe**_

_**This isn't easier than the real thing**_

_Everything was a tangled us mess. A web weaved of acid destruction and my adrenaline was in over drive and each block we drove each centimeter of the road we covered. It was kicked up to an extreme notch. The blood was running so hot I could feel my face near explosion. My veins were pulsing. My legs and in between them were aching from the last day. Night had fallen and two hours had passed since we left. Being inside the home that became a fucked up house and then back to a home just in the wee hours of the preventable massacre..._

_**My love you know that you're my best friend**_

_**And that I'd do anything for you**_

_**And my love let nothing come between us**_

_**My love for you is strong and true**_

_**Am I in heaven **_

_**Or am I at the crossroads I am standing**_

_My guilt kept sweeping up to me should've telling someone about my dad's plans. But I missed him so much. I leaned my head against the window as an array of memories came flooding back._

_**Just like he taught Luke and Brendan. But me receiving it first.**_

"_**Daddy I can't I'm scared." The pink bike covered in flowers and medium size streamers, brand new at that. It was bigger than me and my six-year old form. I was wobbly as he took the training wheels off.**_

"_**Yes, yes you can Kass. Just. Here look," He paused hopping on the bike making me giggle and mom laugh as that familiar camera shook. "Come on baby hop on you can do it I know you can." He hoisted me up and onto the bike.**_

"_**Two feet first on the pedals Kass." I did as instructed and he held onto the bike. **_

"_**Don't let me go Daddy." He smiled warmly at me and gave my mom a wink and she returned it with a thumbs up. He pushed my seat and held on as the wind swept my pigtails in his face making him cough. I laughed and she shouted. "Peddle Kass. Peddle!" I pushed and the bike was moving on it's own two wheels and my feet. "Daddy! I'm doing it!" I shouted.**_

_**He clapped from the distance. I skidded the bike to a halt as he grabbed me from it and swung me around. "Yes! My daughter is an official bike riding ass kicker." I giggled and leaned into him. The smell of mints. **_

_That familiar smell that Dad always carried. Made me know it was my Dad who was coming home and out of the other side to me. It changed to all of the time Brendan and I spent together. The memories kept hitting me like a bitter backwash and my heart started burning. I placed my hand over my chest as the choke swallowed my throat and captured my voice. I closed my eyes as fresh tears slipped. After a long emotionless drought. Rowan looked at me from the corner of his eye and his face changed into immediate pain. It was raining again. The day had gone fast. You can get a lot of things done in one day. _

_**2005. My sweet sixteen and the silk dress that had covered me. Dad was taking my pictures and even Brendan couldn't ruin this moment. I smiled as he held my hand. "I love you. So grown up." I could see his eyes redden. He never cried. "Dad come on don't." I blushed. My mom wrapped her arms around my shoulders and smiled her trademark smile towards my father. "Our baby is all grown up and freshly sixteen. No one can take away from you, your accomplishments Kassia Maria Hume." He engulfed me in a hug with mom. "Come here byatch." Brendan smiled. I wrapped my arms around him and Luke.**_

"_**My assish brothers." I laughed as Dad clicked the camera to record. "Every Hume smile now."**_

_**I wrapped my arms around Brendan and Luke. "Say cheese dicks." I laughed loudly. Brendan smiled genuinely and Luke chuckled. "Say cheese it Racker Ball." My brows rose before Brendan started chuckling and covered his nose with his thumb and pointer finger pulling away. The serious picture/film taken away as he laughed and Luke fell onto the grass picking up little daises and throwing them. "A princess from far away land. I bid you a farewell in the balls of hell." He growled holding onto his stomach. I stomped my heel as Brendan fell to his knees.**_

"_**Wipe that smirk off your face jackass." I smirked myself. **_

"_**Like your new nickname Kass?" He laughed. **_

"_**You better quit it before I shove a daisy up your white tiny sunburned ass Brendan Alexander Hume. You too Lucas Michael Hume. Typical male species."**_

"_**Formal wear. Fuck-"**_

"_**Ok, enough now!" Mom scolded. "I'm getting the keys and you all behave yourselves. We weren't brought up to curse were we?"**_

_**Brendan, Luke and I looked to one another before we all snorted and resumed into chorus laughter. Dad smiled and shook his head as Mom placed her hands on her hips. Finally giving up she went inside and Brendan followed, slapping Luke in the back and man wrestling began. I rolled my eyes. Dad came over and hugged me, patting my arm. "Kass." He laughed. "You know I love you. And no matter what if someone ever hurts you or this family then I won't stop until they're dead. You understand me?" I nodded as he hugged me.**_

"_**I'm so proud of you. My oldest and she'll come the farthest. When I walk you down the isle and incorporate my son and law to Senior VP. " I smiled and grinned from ear to ear as he hugged me. That moment was mine.**_

_*~*_

_Dad only had eyes for me. I was the daughter that day. I played that piano. Played my heart out. Rowan had smiled and they had liked him then. Luke and Brendan watched in silence with smiles and agape mouths. Kellian was silent. Mom and Dad sat. Her hand on his and they smiled at me every few seconds as my nerves came in. Their smiles washed it away, even Brendan's. It all fell sour when he let it go to his head and Dad right with it._

_**So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray**_

_**That you'll be strong and tomorrow see another day**_

_**And we will praise it**_

_**And love the light that brings a smile across your face**_

_**Oh god if your out there won't you hear me**_

_**I know we've never talked before**_

_I could still hear the laughter and piano. The rain against the glass and the wash of it being sloshed up by cars passing. There lives. I hope they hold on forever to at least one good thing. They'll never know how much it means to them until it's gone. For good. Forever. Eternity far off. Or not. I didn't know if I was going to live or die. If Luke's future was taken away. Brendan's final chance to see his wrongs and right them. Was Luke meant to be gone? Was Brendan forever going to be an ass hole? Someone that I almost grew to hate and I hated myself for it. I'd trade everything now. Even my own life so they could all make it right. If someone else had died f only I'd pushed. But I wasn't blaming myself for everything because I knew nothing would have stopped my Dad no matter what! And in truth I didn't want to stop him. But he was permanently stopped now. I wanted so badly just to want. _

_**And oh god the man I love is leaving**_

_**Won't you take him when he comes to your door?**_

_**am I in heaven here or am I in hell**_

_I started to shake with sobs. It sunk in now. I was gone and alone. No family to take future family to. My tears came faster now and I heard Rowan choke next to me. I felt like I was alone in this car. I looked up at the sky. "I want my Daddy." I whimpered. Finally feeling like a small child. I had so much to learn and now I had to do it on my own. Rowan's hand rubbed my jean-covered knee slightly, trying to comfort me. It wasn't phasing me. I was with myself right now..._

"_Please. Take me if they can come back." I shut my eyes tightly as the tears escaped them. I held on tightly to my shirt and the green pendant that I needed with me. A charm for each emotion I felt held into that one stone. My brothers helped me make the necklace with a stone we found on the beach and carved. I heard Rowan let out an escaped conventional cry. Only it was something that I never knew existed from him, from a person. It was a cry from someone who was deeply in pain. Torn. Beyond any fixing. No purpose._

_A hard choice...._

_**At the crossroads I am standing**_

_**So now you're sleeping peaceful...**_

"_Please." I cried slipping my head into my heart. My body was bound to the seat tightly as I kept my eyes closed and used all of my strength to hope, wish. To pray once more. I know I don't deserve this. But you can have anything you want. Even me. Just let them live on. Let Rowan be free. Let his brother be ok for him. Rowan's hands were fumbling and he didn't even know if he should touch me or not. He couldn't even pull from his own emotions. The car made soundless turns back to Stokely. Each turn felt like forever. Forever was coming now._

_I just wanted all of this to end. I started crying freely. I didn't hold it back. I just let the wash take me over and I slid my head down the cold hard window. Someone let them look over my shoulder. I need them. Please... I begged. My conscience was in tears itself as the waves crashed inside of me and made all of my blood slow down. Every flow slow and patient. The beat of my heart heard like a drum. My tears were like hail. Cold. The conscience came into me and slipped through my body spreading to my desire and stopping it. My body warmed for only one reason now. I wanted my family..._

_The feeling inside of me was turning with the blowing wind. Rowan never spoke as I rowed my window down and threw my head into the rain. I smelled the fresh oncoming summer's end scent of it. Last remains of the season. New trials were beginning all around. The world turned no matter who left it. But in these brief moments I'd learned that each person in this world means something to at least someone. And that means that almost everyone, but killers and demons mean the world to well the world. _

_Each time we loose someone, someone else's heart is lost with that person. _

_No one is winning all the time. And nothing is perfect. _

_Perfection is overrated. _

_I heard Rowan row his window down as well as we turned into the last turn we made. It wasn't familiar to me as I was sleeping when Billy took me here. But it felt familiar in some form. _

_Rowan had tears of his own filling up those beautiful chocolate brown eyes. God I wanted everyone to be able to just breathe. "Rowan I- I love you." I softly cried. My head stayed bowed. "No matter what happens I just want you to know that you're my best friend and nothing changes that. I love you." I finished, keeping my head down, but after a moment I lifted it up on my own. His eyes were softly peaking into mine. And he looked at me, he looked. Just like he was seeing me for real. In this harsh light this rain. I saw him too. And he let the wheel drift with unseen danger as his fingertips softly grazed my shin. Like some last resort of two lovers. Final goodbyes incase the other went out for that one's sake and grace. Keep the fire alive. He lifted my chin up as my tears fell on his fingers, reminding me of glass crashing in slow motion over a set of ivory white piano keys. Somewhere I heard my own music and found my own strength in the lurch that was coming up inside of me. I warmed as Rowan leaned into me. His warmth radiating clearly. So clearly that I melted into him without fear. Letting past scars go for my last moment with him. My best friend. Who I was giving my life for without second thought. And I loved him. After all of this time the last gift my conscience had given me was that I was in love with Rowan..._

_He leaned into me and the sweet heat of his soft gracious lips fell against mine in their own rhythm. We kissed as if there was nothing between us, but love and need. Need gone unnoticed all of these years until now. I felt not scared, but felt my heart giving in and sowing up a little slice that Billy had taken away, but that I'd buried. My conscience wasn't talking right now and I knew that I was becoming one with it for now... I let his tongue touch mine and it all fell in synch. Those fireworks came inside of my head. The kind that warmed you from head to toe. I never wanted to let go. And the tears came from need and longing of the realization. Meaning of more. He pressed his forehead against mine. His own tears and scent into the mix. The feeling was circling us together in a circle of red. The kind that binds you together._

_No words were needed as of now.... _

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

_I moved swiftly to the last room draped with purple curtains. Moving into it, it was lit with red. A chapel? I'd finally reached the_

_End of that place that fucker had driven me to after I'd forced it from him. I'd killed someone else and four more others. I couldn't shake Helen's way of balancing things out away and her being torn from me. Her essence banished made my blood boil. I made my way through the curtains pointing my gun and I heard nothing. I moved around and I heard footsteps as I turned back around. I turned behind me quickly with my hands locked to the trigger. But it came from in front of me. There stood that bastard and he fired into my side making my body shake as the soaring metal shredded me again. The pain was numbed for now and I fired off shooting until I got him in the side and his hand, dropped the gun. I rounded off with no self control on the firearm and let loose on my target finally in front of me. _

_I shot a round off and it hit his fingers making them disappear. A footstep came quickly behind me and I felt the ache in my neck making me twist. I held tightly onto the gun fighting this out and shot right at his leather cap covered head. He fell to the ground. Billy shot at me once more and I shot off again hitting him in the front of his chest. He fell to the ground and I held onto my neck stumbling over to the bench and hitting it with a harsh force. _

_His screaming died down and he pushed himself up. If he finished me off now I wouldn't care. But I doubt he could even see straight. Which is what I was fucking hoping for. He pointed his gun at me with his teeth grit. He fired off making me jump as he hit the top of the bench beside me. He fired again and hit the wall coming towards me he clicked his gun, but nothing came out and I knew this was it for me. My voice fought inside. That cool metal object tucked behind me underneath my eldest son's coat. _

_He stumbled towards me and hit the spot a lot rougher than I had. _

_We sat in silence and he sighed. I held my neck. Nothing needed to be said for now. The ones that started this all were here now. I won the war. But both of us were left empty handed. I could see him turn to me from the corner of my eye. Which was slightly faltering with a blur. His face had slight blood splatters. "Look at cha' you look like one of us. Look what I've made you." He sounded so sure of himself. He had the power and he knew it was right. _

_He kept letting gust of air from his mouth. Burst of pain. "You know?" He spoke. "Your daughter was somethin'. So beautiful. Fucking beautiful." He leaned his head back. Kass. My eldest of all. Where was she? I didn't need to ask. He'd dumped her somewhere. He leaned his head back in pain. The veins pulsing in the top of his head as he held his fingers. I felt the warmth seep through my left hand and onto my golden band._

_I couldn't wait any longer. Not talking to give him the satisfaction, but I knew what he was feeling. It wouldn't balance was still in there. The gun. Nameless as I'd forgotten. Only what I needed to remove with them clear. I slapped it to my leg and turned. His head swayed downward. He knew it was coming. He looked to me his tired eyes switched into knowing. I felt small pain and remorse for him. Out of all of this I'd learned the true meaning of pain and remorse. _

_I clicked the gun. _

_**And tonight I lack the strength to even move**_

_**when you walked, and watched me die**_

_**But I know this is harder for you**_

_**for love has let you down**_

_**Yeah, come on...**_

"_Ready?" I spoke simply. He looked to me. He waited and bowed his head before blowing another gust of air out. He stopped slowly and I let him have his moment. For some reason I'd stopped from where the gun's general direction headed. I pointed it to his chest and fired. He fell silent. And I knew he'd not have much longer. I sat there with him in that moment as his breathing slowed down. _

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

_The kiss had ended as we walked anxious and so fierce full. Rowan stopped short as he saw a door open on our way up. "Kass don't look just incase all right?" I nodded and held onto his hand tightly. Rowan made tiny steps before finally he made a gasp and turned back quickly. I leaned up and covered my mouth as the remains of what was that Latino man scattered the wall. I covered my mouth as the vile venom crept up it. _

"_Oh god. Fuck." _

_Rowan's eyes were wide as he saw a phone that lay on the ground. "Bodie." He voice alerted me with high fear. "Kass the office my brother." I nodded, "C-come on then."_

_We were both filled with adrenaline as we neared dark alleys. Everything forgotten except for the now. Rowan pulled in and we both gasped. A tan van was completely apart and the red mustang was smashed and steaming into the front steps. The light was now pouring from the cloud. "Oh my god." We heard the screeching of tires and the black tribal swerved right past us. Rowan pulled me back. But the face inside the front of it. Oh god. And Rowan's eyes widened with mine. The person was holingonto their neck and they had no fine sight of us, but we saw him. My heart jumped and the daylight made me look up. 'Daddy!" I screamed. "Wait Daddy."_

"_Kass. Kass!" Rowan screamed. "We don't know if that was him."_

"_Rowan it was I saw he's he. My Daddy Oh god." tears filled my eyes and I covered my mouth. He pulled on my hand. "Stay behind me." I was silent as he pulled me through the mess and up some stairs gasping and quietly making turns. I was in my own trance and I did see my father right? And Rowan saw him too?_

_We neared a place that draped out red light and it was then my senses came back. My tears started flowing freely again. We stepped into the curtain as Rowan started shouting and I saw someone lying below us. I squeezed his hand once before dropping it. Bodie.. My heart reved up with a familiar ache. His brother. The one that tried to help me some. The one that gave me a reassuring smile. Held my brother, but not as hard as he could have. Rowan shouted and let out a yelp of pain that brought the tears from my body and soul. I covered my mouth and saw a figure slumped in front. I walked up quickly and saw Billy there. Holding his bloody fingers with his other hand and blood was pouring from him in three spots. _

_His chest was heaving and he looked pale. Not much left inside of him. The revenge was finished. My dad did all of this. He was alive and he was ok. I knew it was going to be all right again. And with strength I walked over as his eyes bore into mine. He didn't have any remarks left. A shout made my face shake with fury and tears. My dad had taken Bodie from Rowan. Billy's eyes were covered with pain and the blue had water and his face splattered with blood. His own. I turned as Billy saw Bodie on the floor and shook his head. His eyes fell into mine and I could see it tearing him apart inside. "No. My brother. No. God no. Man. No. No. No." Rowan's sobs were pitiful and gut wrenching. He fell to the floor clutching his brother's front._

"_I wanna fuckin' die." Billy mumbled in pain._

_It made the tears pull from the inside of me. "He won didn't he? Oh god." I cried. I walked over to Rowan slowly. I bent down as he cried over his brother. His deep husky voice sounded like a dying painful hell. I fell to my knees and rubbed Bodie's hand as I hugged onto Rowan and I glanced back as Rowan threw his head down into Bodie's chest and into my thigh. I shook my head at Billy as the tears poured from me silently. His eyes came in contact with mine again. "He won." He simply stated. The pain clear. I turned my head to the side and started to let my lip quiver. His simple, yet so indescribable eyes fell into mine once more. Everything stopped and all I saw was some lonely boy who was finally torn apart. Nothing to loose. And for the first time I felt my heart give out for him. I offered a small sad smile and he nodded before leaning his head into the wood and closing his eyes. _

_**Hold on hold onto yourself**_

_**for this is gonna hurt like hell**_


End file.
